383: Used: Part Two

by Keiran O'Sullivan
80630.0300

...continued from Part One


Zanh Liis exited the room, and the moment the doors shut Keiran crumpled into the closest chair. Holding his head in his hands, he began to sob.

Vox simply continued his work on Liis' compass as O'Sullivan broke down.

"My time on the Sera. It was just another Jump," Keiran whispered a moment later, between breaths. "Wasn't it, Jonas? You never intended for me to stay there is right. You..." he shook violently. "You used me."

"Yes, Keiran, and we will continue to use you. That is your job. To be used as we see fit." Vox' voice rose uncharacteristically in volume for a moment before he centered himself and dropped it down once again.

"She's alive, isn't she? Or isn't that enough for you anymore?"

"But you knew this would happen to me. That if history was set right, at some point first contact with the Sylph would take place and I'd get all of the memories back. That I'd have to grieve losing her all over again."

"Yes." Vox admitted clinically as he selected another tool from his kit and kept working. "I knew."

"Bastard," Keiran growled. "Now what happens? How can I live this way? Knowing that now she doesn't know me at all, not even just the past few months? At least I had that. Now that's gone as well."

"Does it matter to you that much? That she doesn't remember the tragedies of the past as you do? You didn't want her to know before, and now," Vox paused and held up his hands. "I don't know what you want, O'Sullivan. You're her Guardian, and she's alive. What the hell more can you ask for?"

"So much more than that," Keiran whispered. He exhaled slowly, trying to regulate his breathing and pull himself together.

He wiped at his eyes and finally looked up. "Where to now? Sir."

"Back to your command," Vox replied. "Breaux needs to be dealt with."

"I'd have dealt with him a long time ago if you hadn't tied my hands." Keiran couldn't help but fire just one shot, knowing that he'd been right not to trust the man, at any point.

Vox ignored the remark. "He needs to be apprehended. So apprehend him."

"What about my boy?"

"If the situation with Carrick gets out of control, we will allow you to intervene, as promised. Not a moment before."

That answer was not enough to satisfy O'Sullivan. Still, he feigned agreement. "Aye, Sir."

Vox seemed certain now that he'd reset and repaired the broken components of Liis' compass. He set it aside and snapped his fingers rapidly, wordlessly demanding to be shown O'Sullivan's as well.

Keiran rose, detached it from his belt and handed it over.

When Vox saw that it was still lit, he swore. "What's this about?"

"What's what about?"

"I don't understand," he complained, tapping the compass in frustration. "Your Jump is over. You've been reassigned, you have your new orders. The compass should reflect that you're on the right track." He glared at O'Sullivan, wondering what, if anything, the man was hiding.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't understand it either."

Vox' patience was at an end as he tossed the device back at his operative.

"Well figure it out, Keiran. Before you leave Earth. Otherwise, no good can come of it."

Keiran was once again approaching panic. He needed to get out of this room, into some daylight and fresh air or he risked becoming physically ill again. "Are we through?"

"For now. Your ship should be ready to pick you up in about eight hours."

"Eight hours? Jesus Christ, Jonas. What the hell do I do in the meantime?"

"I wouldn't recommend eating." Vox' tone was condescending, to say the least. "Why don't you go home, Keiran. It's been an awfully long time."

*I have no home to go back to.* Keiran thought. *And you know it.*

"I'll find some way to keep myself out of trouble." He looked at Vox, and indicated the hidden door he knew existed just beyond the mural on the wall behind the desk. "Let me go out the back way. Please? Just this time. Don't make me walk past her when I leave."

"All right." Vox figured that it was the least he could do, for a man who had done his duty so thoroughly and at such great personal cost.

After Keiran had gone, Vox asked for Zanh to be sent back in.

"About damned time," she complained. "What's left? You going to ground me for taking the car out without permission?"

"It's fixed. Take better care of it in future." He handed the compass back to her, and she secured it to her belt. "You are certain there is nothing else I need to know before you leave?" Vox prodded one last time, to be sure.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Zanh cursed under her breath. "We don't have secrets, do we? You know the rules. I'm not allowed to keep them from you. And you get to keep them from me any damn time you want."

"That's the way it works, Zanh Liis." He pointed to the bars on his collar.

"Maybe. But I don't have to like it."

"You never did."

"That is one thing I definitely remember about working for you." Liis concluded bitterly.

"Shall we beam you back to the Sera directly?"

"No. I'm going for a good, long walk before I go back."

"What's the matter, Zanh Liis? Trouble in paradise?" Vox referred flippantly to her relationship with the Vedek. That was a poor choice and her eyes flashed fire in response.

"Bite me, Jonas. I'm tired. Jariel is tired. We both need a vacation."

"Well, talk to Salvek when you get back. By then he will have planned one for you with my blessing."

"Joy. Salvek is the perfect person to plan a romantic getaway for Jariel and I."

"I could ask Reece to do it."

Liis eyes widened in horror at the thought. "Forget I said anything."

In the corridor behind the hidden panel in the wall, Keiran lingered, able to clearly hear everything said on the other side.

The moment he heard her mention Jariel's name, he knew that it was really over.

Things were once again as they were meant to be.

She had forgotten him, and she loved the Vedek, still.

Why couldn't he just be happy about it? At least for her sake if not his own?

He continued asking himself that exact question over and over again as he wandered back out into the city streets, with no clear destination in mind.

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Lt. Commander Keiran O'Sullivan
Former Chief of Security
USS Serendipity NCC-2012