by -=/\=- Keiran O'Sullivan
90923.23
Immediately following The End of the Story
-=/\=-
-=Earth=-
90923.23
Immediately following The End of the Story
-=/\=-
-=Earth=-
Keiran found Gem in the Grand Lobby of their current location; headquarters of Temporal Investigations.
She was standing completely still, off in a corner and silently staring up at the domed ceiling, eyes firmly fixed upon it even as curious people frowned at her in confusion when she ignored their polite greetings as they passed by.
"So." Keiran said softly, rocking his weight from his heels to his toes in a manner which, when Lassiter observed it at last, reminded her more than a little of his wife. "Think we should talk."
"About?"
His eyes widened as if to ask if she was kidding.
"All right, all right." She groaned. She wouldn't have wanted to admit it to him, but now that someone, especially someone as trustworthy as he was knew the truth, it was a relief to finally have someone she could talk to about everything that'd happened.
She also knew he'd have questions, and she felt that he was entitled to the answers if he was going to help her shoulder the considerable weight of this burden from now on.
"We need somewhere that's safe, then." Keiran noticed that the longer they stood here, the more people were taking note of their presence, and Gem's distant expression. Most of them would accept it as a sign of her grief once the news of her son's death was common knowledge within the agency; but there would be those who may not be so easily misled into believing that was all there was to know about her strange behavior. "Care for a quick trip to Cork?" he asked, as he gently nudged her out of her corner.
"Actually," Gem said, following him onward toward the exit, "I know somewhere we can go that's much closer."
-=/\=-
A short time later she was unlocking the door to a small, second-floor flat that Keiran had never seen before.
When the door opened and she called for the lights, Keiran was astonished. It was immaculately kept, absolutely spotless...and completely out of its time.
Everything within it, down to the last set of curtains on the windows and light fixture on the wall was forty years out of date.
"Nice place ya've got here." He observed, as she gestured for him to sit down. "Not exactly what one would expect of..."
"...a powerful Starfleet Admiral?" She laughed softly, humorlessly. "Maybe that's why I keep it. Because when I lived here all the time, I wasn't a Starfleet Admiral." She answered his unspoken question before he could ask it. "Why do you always return to that field in Cork, O'Sullivan? Think about that before you ask me why I've kept this place all these years."
Keiran's eyes grew even wider than she thought possible, and the expression on his face was one of such clear shock that she couldn't help but shake her head and laugh again.
"Yes, I lived here at the time that it all...happened." She looked away now, somewhat embarrassed as she added, "but nothing actually happened here, if that's what you're thinking."
His expression immediately became one of relief. He hadn't wanted the mental images that came along with thinking that the reason she'd kept the place was because she had those sorts of memories here.
"Not that he didn't try," A slight smile curled just one edge of her mouth. "Valiantly." That hint of a smile turned quickly into a satisfied smirk. "Failed spectacularly. But he did try."
The warmth of the memory of hours spent bantering back and forth with Will here, when she'd known him only as 'Michael' faded quickly, overtaken in an instant by the freezing cold of the sadder moments that followed.
Moments she wished that she'd been able to forget, for they still stung just as painfully all these years later.
Moments like the ones they'd spent saying goodbye.
Keiran noticed the return of the haunted look in her eyes and wished to get this over with, if that was what she wanted, without adding to that sadness if he could. The best way to do that, he thought, was to keep her talking by answering his questions.
"There are a few things I'd like ta know," Keiran began slowly, as she took her boots off, then went into the kitchen and washed her hands. She procured two glasses and a bottle of Scotch from the cupboard, but Keiran waved her off as she poured him a glass and brought it to him. "Gem, I don't drink anymore, mind?"
She had no problem with his decision not to join her. "More for me." She decided, sitting down on the large chair across from him. She tossed the first one back quickly and then settled into drinking the second much more slowly. "Ask your questions, O'Sullivan. I'll answer them."
"Well, obviously..." he actually reddened slightly, and began to do that annoying thing where he fiddled with his wedding ring that Gem hated. It made her nervous just to watch it. "How the hell did'ya keep ev'ra'one from figurin' out that Nicholas was born..." He stopped, knowing he'd said enough to convey the question without elaborating.
Gem sighed, closing her eyes and clutching her glass. She immediately felt the same rush of sheer panic that she had all those years ago, when she realized the truth about her 'situation' and that if it was discovered that she was pregnant by a man not from her time, that TI would make her abort the baby immediately, no questions asked or answered, for fear of what its very existence could do to the timeline.
She didn't care what she had to do, she couldn't allow that to happen. She remembered telling herself over and over as she lived a life she didn't want that this was what mothers did for their children every day, worlds over. She was no different.
She was no better.
"No one," she breathed the words out through gritted teeth, and Keiran marveled at the determination in her voice as she remembered and spoke just as if this had happened yesterday, "...was going to take William's son away from me."
-=Flashback: 2357=-
"Adam, you have to do something for me." Gem paced back and forth in the office of Adam Galloway.
He frowned at her. "I never like where it goes when you start a conversation that way, Gem."
"I have never asked you for anything like this before, so don't pretend that I have." She protested indignantly. "Jonas, maybe. But never me. So don't act as if I've come once too often to the well."
Adam knew that she was telling the truth. In fact, if anything, he was the one who had asked many a favor of her along the road they'd traveled together in the time they'd known each other. He owed her far more favors than he could ever repay- and until today she'd never brought that fact to his attention purposely.
On the contrary, any time he'd tried to make things easier on her or save her any trouble because he felt very much and very rightly that he owed her, she never allowed it.
If she was asking something of him now, she had to be in very deep trouble.
"Jonas just got back from a Jump a week ago..." he ventured, "are you going to ask me to reassign you again? Because we've been through this before, and if you two keep this up-"
"Not at all," she interrupted. "To be blunt, I am asking you to send us away for awhile. Jonas is pretty burned out after the past few Jumps, you know that. Well, proving his insanity without a doubt, he proposed to me again immediately upon his return and proving mine, I've finally accepted. I would like, after all the time we've spent doing nothing but work the past decade of linear time..." she paused, "...an extended honeymoon."
"About nine months long?" Galloway glared at her, proving again that he was a man not easily fooled. Gem's cheeks turned crimson. "God, Gem. You didn't. Tell me that you didn't. You, of all people."
The look upon her face answered the question for him and he groaned, loudly.
He was the only one who had been entrusted with the story of what had really happened after it was all over. As her immediate superior and Director of the Agency, she knew that she'd had to trust him with it. He had chosen not to end her career on the spot, but he might rethink the wisdom of that decision now given this new information.
"I won't apologize to you for what happened." Gem enclosed her hands protectively, and instinctively over her mid-section. "I sure as Hell will disappear from the face of the Earth never to be seen or heard from again if you even breathe the threat of wanting to intervene. And you can't let me do that because I know too much. I am far too valuable to you and this agency and you know it."
He hated it when she was right.
She was so often right.
"But,"
"Look, Jonas was so drunk the night before he left for that last Jump, he has no idea what happened. It won't be difficult to..." she stopped. "Don't worry. Just...let me live as a civilian for a year. Let me be seen by civilian doctors, under an assumed name. Then let me reappear next year with our son and no one will think anything of it."
"With your son. Yours, and his." He was indicating the man she had only been willing to refer to by his alias, Michael Blakeney; TI agent on a mission from the future, back to the past that was their present.
"Adam," Gem moved forward, placing her shaking hands flat upon the top of his desk as she leaned closer to him. "Don't take this from me. I promise you, I will give this agency and Starfleet the rest of my life if you let me have this one thing. If you don't." She was not making a threat, instead he knew it was simply a promise of the course of action she was determined to take. She would keep her child, with or without his blessing. "This is the easiest way for everyone. No one will question it, with you to help me with certain small details."
"A-ha! See? I knew that part was coming up next! Damn it, Gem..." He ran his hand up and across his bald head, sighing heavily. "If this kid grows up and brings about the end of History as we know it..."
"He won't. In fact," she lowered her voice even more, disbelieving what she was saying but knowing that it was the only way, as well, to seal this deal. "I promise you that he'll belong to Starfleet. I'll raise him from the beginning to become a perfect officer."
If anyone could do that, he thought, she could.
"I'm going to regret this someday." Galloway warned her sadly, "and so will you."
-=Present=-
"That's why you said that," Keiran stammered. "Galloway was..."
"If you had to talk to anyone about the Zenith disappearing, it had to be Galloway. He knew exactly what..." she spoke the words for the first time now as if she were beginning to accept them, "...losing Nicholas would do to me."
"And Jonas..."
"God, Keiran you've known Jonas for decades, do you think his attention span is really that long? I assure you, it's not. Factor in all the resequencing procedures he's had and he doesn't remember his own history any more, let alone anyone else's."
Keiran nodded.
"Then we had Gira, and for years we were the perfect Starfleet family. And I have given everything I am and everything I have to Starfleet in repayment of that one debt I owed to Adam Galloway." Gem continued, finishing the liquid in her glass and swallowing hard. "I should have known that Time is always the one that has the final say."
Keiran wanted very much to believe that she was wrong about that.
He tried to dismiss the chill that ran through him and keep his thoughts on task. "What about William bein' assigned to me?"
Gem smiled wryly. "You religious types. You think that everything that happens in your life is the result of Divine intervention, O'Sullivan? Well not that time, unless I've been promoted to the position of 'deity' at some point and am as yet unaware." She inhaled and exhaled slowly as she remembered the day years ago when Jonas contacted her via subspace, in a fit and spitting nails.
-=Flashback, 2377=-
"What did O'Sullivan do now?" Gem asked her ex-husband as he stared at her from the viewscreen. He was a man she was still forced to interact with professionally, whether she wanted to or not.
[You won't believe it.] Jonas grumbled, pouring himself a strong drink.
"He got involved with Zanh, didn't he?"
[Damn it, Gem, I can't ever tell you anything you don't already know, can I?]
She ignored the question, since he didn't really want an answer. "And your response was?"
[I told him that I'm splitting them up.]
"You didn't!" Gem's eyes flashed fury. This was not the right thing to do. "Hypocrite."
[That's exactly what Keiran called me.]
"Well, he's got every right, it's exactly what you are."
[Well, breaking the rules turns out so well, doesn't it, Gemini? Look how happy we were,] he snarled. Their marriage had ended years before but still, when the news came that Keiran O'Sullivan needed a new, long-term Jump partner, he would be forced to consult her on the decision.
Without his knowledge, she would work quickly and tirelessly behind the scenes to see to it that O'Sullivan was assigned one of the brightest new recruits that TI had ever seen; a man whose career she had watched quietly and with interest as it led him toward the agency.
A man who had risen to the rank of Lieutenant; a man who was called William Lindsay.
"I'll think it over and then send someone down." Gem replied casually, even though she knew already exactly what she was going to do next. "Just lay off of Keiran, will you? Man's got enough trouble, he doesn't need you preaching at him. Lassiter out."
-=Present=-
"The two of you needed each other," she offered as explanation of her decision to engineer things this way. "I don't know which of you has depended upon the other more over the years. You on him, or him on you."
Keiran wasn't sure he could answer that question honestly, either. It was about as close to a draw as you could get in his estimation, only he'd never admit that to Will.
He had another question, still. "From his perspective...I mean, if he remembered it..." Keiran struggled, it was so difficult, even for him, at times to keep these events and the years in which they occurred in proper order. "When did Will make that Jump...the one when,"
"The one that resulted in Nicholas?" She stared blankly at her empty glass. "While you were on medical following another failed resequencing procedure and too incapacitated to work."
Keiran cringed. Another time he hadn't been there for Will, when Will had needed him. Yet, Will had never mentioned it, so that had to mean only one thing. "He must not have remembered. After he came home. After they resequenced him."
"No, he didn't," Gem said flatly. "You see, Keiran, William Lindsay is one of the greatest memory resequencing success stories you'll ever find. That's because of the type of personality he has. It's the same reason he was recruited for TI to begin with. He lives very much in the present. Now is the most important time for William, always. That being the case, it's very easy to erase yesterday. No matter..."
"No matter how much yesterday mattered," Keiran finished.
"Exactly." She stood and retrieved the bottle, pouring herself another glass of whiskey.
They talked for a very long time, neither one of them aware that moments had turned to hours somewhere along the way.
Keiran not only listened but answered questions she had for him about his own experiences with memory resequencing and lost love.
The one thing he did not do, however, was offer her any advice. He knew damned well that their situations were only similar on a very surface level; there was nothing that he could say to try to advise her that wouldn't come off as either completely self-righteous or just grossly misinformed.
"You know..." she said softly, as she finally glanced over at the bag which still contained the copy of The Scarlet Pimpernel that Nicholas had never read. "As much as that story reminds me of that time, there's something else I often think of, when I think of him."
Keiran waited silently for her to decide if she wanted to continue. After a few moments, she did.
"You've spent enough time in and around Scotland. Ever hear of Brigadoon?"
"Scottish legend says that i's the little town in the Highlands that disappears in the mist, no? At the end of the day?" he asked softly, though he was certain he was correct.
"Yes." She stared blankly forward. "The little town that only appears one day out of every hundred years. When I think of him the way that he was...that we were...of that time, that place," she paused as she struggled for the words to explain.
"It's like everything that took place happened in a location that disappeared from existence the moment he was gone. The entire world changed, while he was in it. Just being who he was...by showing me who I could be..." she shivered as she sighed softly. "He showed me a place that seemed to disappear at the end of the day. A place that can't be recreated without him."
She lowered her eyes to her hands, shaking her head as she noted the signs of age so clearly evident upon them. For Will, the difference between his age now and the age he'd been during the Jump was little more than ten linear years.
Since the clock had never been altered for her, she had aged so much more than that. "He was mine, for that one day out of a hundred years. And if I had to live all of those years over again just to get that day, I'd do it without thinking twice."
Keiran was forced now to look away from her. He knew just what she meant.
"Doesn't matter how old you get on the outside, Keiran," she added sadly. "When you love someone that way, the clock stops the moment they leave your side and the hands of time never move again for you unless and until you get them back." Keiran was the one man she was willing to bet could understand exactly how she felt.
"But there is no getting my William back, and I know that. That's why it meant to much to me to have Nicholas. You know..." she sighed softly. "He was so much more like his father than anyone realized."
Suddenly she felt very tired, and she rubbed her aching eyes. "I'm about ready for this to be over. Is there anything else you want to say or ask before you leave?"
Keiran knew that was a warning his time here was almost up, and he sighed. "Just that," he frowned. "am worried about you. Are you goin' ta be all right?"
"I always am," she replied rather unconvincingly, and she was again in this moment the woman that he had always known her to be. She was unemotional, untouchable, and seemingly fashioned from stone. He knew better now, though. She was not a cold and lifeless statue; she was every bit as human as he was.
"Are you goin' to go ta the service in the mornin'?"
"You mean four hours from now?" she corrected him, and only then did Keiran realize that the reason he was so tired was because it was so late.
"God, is that right?" He looked at the old-fashioned clock on the wall. It read three AM.
"Yes. It is. Goodnight, Keiran." She forced out two more words, as difficult as they were to say, she sincerely meant them. "Thank you."
"If ya don' show up for the service I'll be forced ta come looking for ya, ya know."
"I will be there," she said, indicating he should rise from his seat and gesturing toward the door. "If for no other reason than so you don't come looking for me."
"William, he's..." Keiran rubbed his beard thoughtfully as he walked past her. "He's going to be there. Are you,"
"Keiran Riley O'Sullivan..." She put her hands up against his immensely broad back and pushed him closer to the door. "Go."
"Aye, sir," he reluctantly agreed. "Gem," he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. The gesture was so kind and the concern in his eyes so sincere that Gem could barely stand it. "If you ever need ta talk about this again, you can always come to me."
"I'll remember. Keiran," she paused, "I know I don't have to explain to you how vital it is that William never know any of this."
"No." Keiran concluded sadly. "You don't."
"Good." She closed the door, and he reached out, catching it with his hand just before it slammed shut.
He looked at her through the narrow crack and sighed. "I truly am sorry for your loss, Gem."
"You can..." she fought for the words as she tried very hard to control her emotions now, "save it for the service tomorrow."
"Wasn't talkin' about Nicholas." Keiran whispered, before he finally withdrew his hand and allowed her to close the door.
Gem turned away from the door, pressing her back up against it as tears burned her eyes once again. She had no need to fight them now, there was no one here to hide that vulnerability from any longer. Still, she did it anyway.
She finally crossed the room, and picked up the glass from the table. She took it to the bedroom with her, and once there, she reached out and touched a panel on the wall.
She scanned the menu of items it displayed, and selected one.
She adjusted the volume setting, and then sat down on the bed as the music she'd chosen started to play.
She set the glass down on the nightstand and lay back into the pillows, closing her eyes.
For just a moment as the orchestra played that same, sweeping version of Moonlight Serenade she remembered so well, she could clearly see him standing there, with her mind's eye.
He was flawlessly dressed, and his grin was still as disarming as she recalled as he winked at her, looking just as he had the first time she ever laid eyes upon him.
She remembered the faint, intoxicating scent of his cologne as he drew her closer and swept her around the dance floor. He was every bit as charming as he believed he was, even if she had refused to let him know it.
The memories began to fade once more as the music played out. Now all that was left was for Gem to convince herself again, as she had thousands of times before, that was the past and this much colder, harsher reality of being without him was now.
It was as difficult a thing to do as it had ever been, but she finally succeeded by reminding herself that when he cast those same bright and brilliant blue eyes upon her later this morning in a crowded room full of strangers, that he would not remember ever having danced with her at all.
-----------------------
-=/\=- Keiran O'Sullivan
Security Liaison to The Alchemy Project
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
-=/\=-
NRPG: A note to our readers (thanks for subscribing, btw...)the new mission will begin very soon. It's going to be something completely different--stay tuned.~ZL
-=/\=- Keiran O'Sullivan
Security Liaison to The Alchemy Project
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
-=/\=-
NRPG: A note to our readers (thanks for subscribing, btw...)the new mission will begin very soon. It's going to be something completely different--stay tuned.~ZL