1080: More to Lose

by Tam Elton (as told by Rada Dengar)
100426.15
Immediately After Small Boat, Big Ocean

-=Sickbay; USS Serendipity=-


Giving it one more look over, Kellyn knew she could do no more and given how unfamiliar much of the technology in the emitter still was she wasn’t sure it would be wise even to try. Though she’d been able to surmise the function of certain components this was typically based upon little more knowledge than that it ‘sort of looked like’ an equivalent from holographic technology of today. Now it was entirely possible that what they’d done was for naught as the fault was all part of those same components that neither she nor Trev nor even their little Jonas Brothers enthusiast could comprehend.

The emitter itself however was no longer really the problem and she knew it. If there were truly to be irreparable damage then it was to his programme itself. All everything she and Trev had done was really worth was that it would give him the best chance to be restored without the faults in the emitter forming more cracks in his being as it attempted to rebuild him. Nothing they could do would mend whatever cracks had already formed, or were about to.

The doctor’s programming was often thought of in terms of his mind but it was in fact closest to a biological being’s DNA. Each time he was reactivated it was as if he were born again, with those instructions as the guide to his creation. Far beyond just specifying a physical form, they would give him his beliefs and his hopes and continue his deepest thoughts as if never interrupted.

How a man as intelligent and sentient as any was stored in such a form and from beginnings so quantifiable was perhaps a mystery they’d never know. What they did know though was that that essence of who Dalton had been, was too delicate a mix to ever be remade no matter the ingredients on hand. If he was to be lost, whether from the collapsing of his programme in the next few moments or damage already sustained, then he was lost already.

“Damn it,” Kellyn swore softly under her breath, at a volume that even impressionable half Vulcan ears shouldn’t have been able to be hear. “This shouldn’t be so hard.”

She knew there was only one choice and so she should just activate him and get on with it. It was at times like this she wished that they, or in this case she, would have just had the common decency to make medical holograms as faceless and easy to detach from as any other piece of equipment in sickbay.

With the possible exception of Jamie Halliday, she couldn’t see any engineer on board having any sort of reluctance to just reactivate a tricorder or medical scanner for fear they might not have fixed it properly. By all logical arguments Dalton should be no different. She knew how he was built. She had seen the figurative ones and zeros, the nuts and bolts of who he was, before he had even been. She had been there at the start.

Yet since then he had grown. Kellyn was not so arrogant as to think she could create life as vibrant and living as could be discovered across this galaxy. Nevertheless, as she caught sight of the little girl by her side trying not to appear too hopeful, she realised it was not such an arrogant thing.

Since she had first cradled that tiny infant in her arms Arie had grown so much. She was now less than a foot below her mother’s height. She had developed opinions, thoughts, and as Lair looked to Tam she was reminded, friends all of her own. She had made choices, whether she realised them or not, about who she would be and she’d responsibly taken ownership for who she’d become.

Though she would not say that Dalton was exactly like a son to her, as she truly pitied the woman who gave birth to a six foot four Texan, she would say he had grown in many ways. That was why this was so hard; they weren’t talking about the loss of a programme, they were talking about the death of a friend. Or rather, no one was talking at all.

Having made their preparations already, each person here had gathered around to see if they would be successful, and they watched in silence as if trying to avoid causing any distraction to a delicate surgeon. Though Kellyn was no surgeon and nor had she very often at all had the word ‘delicate’ applied to her, that was exactly how it felt. The truth was that in this moment it was just like she was the doctor and he was the patient. Just as any doctor would tell you, some times you just have to have faith that the patient will be strong enough to fight through.

Letting out a deep slightly even breath, Kellyn knew she had that faith in Dalton McKay. If the man could go head to head with Zanh Liis about leaving his sickbay, albeit when she was in an injured state, then he’d have to be tough enough for this.

“Okay, stand back,” she finally said with calm authority, trying to sound as though she had no fear that this could go very wrong.

She wasn’t really sure what difference it would make to have them standing next to her or two metres behind her against sickbay’s walls, as if Dalton’s life ended it would be not with a bang but a whimper, or perhaps a fizzle, and so they were in no real danger.

When Dane realised this was uncertain. Trev however clearly knew it but he didn’t argue, simply placing one hand on the shoulders of each of the children and ushering them back a few steps.

Before placing her finger finally on the control to activate the emitter and being careful to ensure no one saw it, Kellyn actually muttered a silent prayer. Regardless of how much she doubted that any gods who’d let an entire world go through such torment as hers could have such goodness as to help save a single holographic lifeform, it seemed nonetheless the most appropriate thing to do.

With a distinct and far from new feeling that her unhearable words had truly been unheard, she finally pressed the button.

All of their hearts seemed to stop for a single beat as a bright light was cast out into the room. It was not the usual materialisation process, but whether that meant they’d failed or simply that their patchwork modifications were successful was impossible yet to tell.

Then the light began to shimmer and to fall into a single glowing tubular form, with only the shadow of humanoid features visible within, as easily viewed as a womb and a shroud.

The shimmering quickly grew faster. Feeling sudden stability in the emitter’s place in the air, Kellyn released it stepping quickly back.

Then in an instant the light began to collapse in upon itself, and features began to form. Then were it a shroud it began to fall as colour and definition took their place.

There stood revealed a familiar body and a familiar face, and then finally a familiar Dr. Dalton McKay.

Tam Elton
Civilian Crew
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
As told by Rada Dengar