1118: The Ultimate Risk

by TC Blane and -=/\=-Zanh Liis
Following How Are The Mighty Fallen
Stardate 1018.23

Sountrack: Desperado by the Eagles

-=/\=-


-= USS Serendipity=-


Liis hadn't even made it halfway down the hall toward the lift after exiting Sickbay before her mind registered an image that she had seen, but up until this point, not processed.

She immediately reversed course, heading back to the location she'd just left and seeking out the berth in Sickbay currently occupied by her Second Officer.

-=/\=-

TC sat on the end of the bio-bed with his shirt off as the holographic Doctor McKay looked at the healing phaser wound on his shoulder. It was a stubborn injury, taking longer to mend than it should have because of the length of time initial treatment had been delayed.

It wasn't like he'd had a choice in the matter, still that didn't prevent McKay from clucking his tongue in irritation that the 'mess had been allowed to go on longer than a sermon on Sunday'.

TC was only half listening, his mind on too many other things to count. His damaged uniform tunic remained on a tray next to the bed, a scorched and tattered testament to the fight that occurred on the Sera’s bridge. It was in several pieces as a result of having been cut off of his body.

“Ya’ know Mr. Blane I don’t think that I have had anyone sit on a bed in front of me that has had the consistent trauma to their mortal shell that you’ve had.” McKay touched the open wound causing TC to flinch slightly.

“That’s still a little tender.” TC glanced back.

McKay nodded. “I imagine it would be. Ya’ got third degree burns plus serious lacerations, luckily the heat cauterized them shut. Otherwise ya’ probably would have bled to death.” McKay picked up a hypo and pressed it to TC’s arm with a hiss. “For the pain,” he explained. “You are in great physical shape but your fleshy overcoat has seen better days. Pretty bad for a man your age.” He poked at the numerous scars that littered TC’s frame.

TC nodded his agreement. “Well Doc, it’s not the years but the mileage.”

“Wish I could'a helped you sooner.” The doctor chided. “There are a lot of fibers from your uniform mixed into the burn. It’s gonna have to be cleaned out before I can fix this so we’ll let that pain killer set in for a spell.” He turned around walked away.

TC could already feel the constant throbbing in his shoulder begin to ease. He took a moment to close his eyes for the first time in what seemed like weeks. He let the pain fade as he listened to the unique symphony of Sickbay, allowing it to envelop him. The semi-rhythmic beeps and hums of the equipment were oddly relaxing.

Or it could just be the drugs kicking in, he thought.

"Sleeping Beauty, you've changed."

Blane opened his eyes again to find his captain standing in front of him, leaning against a wall with her arms folded over each other in front of her torso.

The two officers and friends stared at each other for a moment in silent contemplation. TC slowly looked her up and down. “You look like crap.”

"Yeah, well, you know me. I like to elevate everything I do to an art form." She stepped closer, and he gestured for her to take a seat beside him. As tired as she was, she didn't refuse. Slowly, and with obvious effort, she lowered herself into a sitting position. "I've really got the looking-like-you-feel thing down." She slowly raised her still-bruised eyes up to his face. All joking aside, he could plainly see her concern. "You okay?"

“Aside from being Kentucky fried, I’m fine.” He flashed a rare smile. “Believe me I gave far worse then I received.”

"So I’ve heard.” Liis paused. “You did a hell of a job, you know. Any lesser man would've handed over the ship. You, however, have never been a 'lesser' man."

TC nodded. “Bah!” He shrugged his shoulders. The action caused him to grimace from the shooting pain. “It’s nothing less that any other member of this crew would have done.” He glanced back at her. “I just have the indelible habit of using a sledgehammer when a simple ballpoint hammer would have sufficed. But at least I do it with flair.”

Zanh's mouth curled up in the slightest amount, just at one corner. "That's what makes you a legend, Thomas." She widened her eyes mischievously, repeating, "a legend."

TC's eyes flashed, but the embers of amusement they conveyed quickly faded, doused by his concern for her health.

“How about you?” He'd not had the chance to speak to Zanh up until this point, nor her husband. With Salvek off the ship and the Captain indisposed the responsibility of ship and crew was still his.

He had only the report that the Doctor had given him about her abuse at the hands of Brody to go on. It was knowledge that was considered 'need to know', not only for the sake of the Captain's recovery, but for her dignity as well.

As Acting Captain until the moment she retook the chair, TC did need to know and so, as difficult as it had been to scroll through the screens, page after page, he had done so without missing a single word.

The doctor went into great detail of the trauma and possible mental scars that the Captain might walk away with from the ordeal. However TC’s lack of faith in the holographic doctor's abilities to know and relate to true life experience combined with his own personal experience and friendship with Zanh Liis prompted the question.

At first, Liis only shrugged in reply. An uncharacteristic response, and TC would not be so easily deterred.

“Are all of your marbles in one place?”

She hopped down from the table and paced a little before him, tugging on the sleeves of her brown suede, civilian jacket. "You'd have to ask Keiran. It's his job, keeping count of them these days. Poor bastard."

TC shifted on the edge of the biobed. "You could have just let Brody-"

"No." Liis interrupted. "I couldn't."

"If you had, then he'd never-"

"He will never." Her jaw in that way that told him she'd firmly made up her mind about something and only a fool would attempt to change it. "Never again."

"From the sounds of it, he'll be a guest of Medical for the rest of his life." Blane attempted to put on a fresh tunic and realized that doing so was going to take great effort and likely cause a lot more pain. He stopped for the moment, tossing the shirt aside and muttering in frustration, "He should rot in prison."

"Thomas,"

"What he did to you..." Blane now stood as well, and he looked her directly in the eyes. "The pain he's caused so many-"

"He's paying, Thomas. Believe me. He'll be paying for the rest of his life, in ways you can't even begin to-" Liis thought back to her own time in those dark and empty rooms at Medical, so cold they made you shiver no matter how you tried to stay warm. Her eyes drifted toward the door now, and she lowered her head. "He's not the only one, either. Lots of people got hurt here. Fortunately, we avoided a major catastrophe. Who am I to judge him for just wanting..." her voice trailed off.

"For wanting to manipulate and decide the fates of countless others just to get what he wanted? For absolute power?" Blane's face took on a rare, reddish hue as his temper flared.

"This wasn't about power, not really." Liis whispered, twisting the rings on her finger. "You know there were times, Thomas, if there had been any way I could have gotten back to Keiran, I'd have-"

"No, that's not true." TC objected. "I remember quite clearly a specific time, not so long ago, in fact, when you and Keiran were both told that if you tried to hold on to each other, that the consequences for others could be incomprehensible. So you both did what you had to do at the time. You walked away."

"We waited, you mean." Liis rubbed her aching temples. "We may have walked away but I don't know that either of us ever could have truly given up waiting."

"You did what was right for the greater good. You held your course." He sighed. "You know how I feel about all this TI bullshit. I hate it. I like time to go in a straight line- a line in which we just do the best we can and deal with the mistakes we've made and try to keep going. Not going back again and again trying to second guess ourselves and maybe making worse mistakes in the attempt to fix things."

"Yes, Thomas, I know how you feel about the work I used to do. That's why you were Spec Ops, not TI."

TC shook his head, a sharp, swift motion powered by fierce resolve. "I won't ever believe that the reason that Brody did what he did was over-" he stopped, realizing how it would sound if he finished the sentence.

Liis raised a brow and stepped closer, lowering her voice. "For a woman?" She shook her own head now. "Look at Moreno. Look at her motivations here, too. I bet if you asked every single one of those agents who went off the grid and broke the rules, the reason that they did it had something to do with something or someone they desperately wanted to get back to." She paused, inhaling and exhaling slowly."Maybe not always someone they'd loved that way. Maybe a child, or a parent. Maybe simply a life that made them so much happier than anything since."

The look on Blane's face told her that he couldn't fathom the idea.

"I've known you a long time now, Thomas, and do you know what strikes me about you?"

TC waited, saying nothing.

"In all the times we've shared stories of our pasts, the rare times we've celebrated our successes and the far too frequent times we've mourned our losses as friends, never once have I ever heard you talk about anyone that you'd be willing to break the rules of space and time to get back to."

TC blinked twice quickly, but otherwise registered no reaction..

"Is it that you don't think you could ever find your way back to her, or is it that you haven't met her yet?"

There was a long pause as TC contemplated her question.

“I just never really found the time to look.” He looked down. “Too many things that are bigger then me got in the way over the years I guess.”

Zanh caught a hint of loneliness in her friend’s voice. So slight, that only a friend as close as she was to the very private man would have noticed it and for a moment, just a fleeting moment he seemed show the worn, tired shoulders of Atlas. Then as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

"Well, in a way, I envy you." Zanh said, heading for the door. "It's a terrifying thing, to love someone that much. You can't stay in complete control of everything when you do. You're giving away a part of yourself that you can't ever get back, no matter how things turn out. Love is the ultimate high risk operation."

The door opened quietly and as she stepped beyond it, she looked back at him over her shoulder. "If it ever finds you, though, a love like that, you're going to wake up in the middle of the night one night and realize something that you never would have believed about yourself."

"What's that?"

"That you don't have a damn bit of choice in the matter at all."

As the doors closed behind her, McKay returned with a tray of various medical doo-dads and a hypo.

“Alright then. Let’s get started shall we.” He picked up the hypo-spray. “Let’s give you a local anesthetic just to keep you comfortable.”

TC shook his head. “Skip it. Just do what you have to. I need to get back to the bridge.”

McKay paused. “Son, even with the pain medication I gave you earlier…what I need to do here ain’t gonna fell like be tickled with feathers.”

TC looked at the deck. “Just do it. I’ll be fine.”

McKay frowned, slowly put down the hypo and picked up another instrument. “You sure?” he asked, once more for confirmation.

TC slowly nodded as he continued to stare at the deck plates. “I’ll be fine,” he repeated quietly.

Commander TC Blane
Second Officer
Currently in Command of the USS Serendipity NCC-2012

and

-=/\=- Zanh Liis O’Sullivan
Captain of the Serendipity