by -=/\=-Zanh Liis
90302.03
Soundtrack: Ave Maria, by Josh Groban
...continued from part one...
-=/\=-
90302.03
Soundtrack: Ave Maria, by Josh Groban
...continued from part one...
-=/\=-
She stood outside of the beautiful, imposing building, looking up.
It took every ounce of strength she believed she had, physically and emotionally, just to set foot inside of it.
It took more than she thought she had to make it beyond the entryway.
Still, this was a very important place to him and knowing that, she wanted to see it for herself in this time, just once before her honeymoon ended.
To her surprise she hadn't been standing in the foyer for long before she heard a familiar, lilting voice address her.
"Well, willya look here. 'Tis the newest member of the O'Sullivan family is it? Wringin' wet and drippin' all over the Lord's fine floor."
Liis turned and saw Keiran's youngest sister Mary Clare standing before her, veil and all.
"Don't move, be right back."
A moment later, Mary returned with a bushel holding several large towels. She placed one down onto the floor and directed Liis with an outstretched arm to stand upon it, simultaneously and without asking beginning to towel off Liis' drenched hair.
"I can manage, thanks, if you'll just..." Liis groaned softly, trying to wrestle the towel away from the tiny redheaded woman.
"Very well. You're as stubborn as Keiran is. Both of yis, comin' in, soakin' wet like that. Speaking of, your dear husband was here, ya know, not half an hour ago. Were ya lookin' to find him?" Mary Clare asked, as she sopped up the mess that Liis had inadvertently tracked in on her boots.
"Keiran was here?"
"Aye, dearie, that he was. Stopped in ta say his prayers. He said he didn't have time to visit, that he had business he needed to see to and," Mary had by this point finished the cleaning up and stood on her tip-toes, trying to see up and into Liis' eyes though she was far too tiny to do so. "He said your eyes were hurt, Liis, on your last mission. Are ya feelin' all right? Didya need an'a'thin' a'tall?"
"I need...to see this place." Liis felt Mary Clare snatch the towel from her hands as she stood there unmoving, not doing a thing with it while her hair continued to rain a small shower on to the floor. Liis took a few paces forward in an effort to side-step any further attempts by the woman to 'help' her. "To...get a sense of it."
She knew that Keiran had confided to Mary Clare, though no one else in his family, the fact that his Starfleet work had been with Temporal Investigations. So Mary Clare knew, without having all the details, that he'd lived more than one life, in more than one time.
She also knew that he'd suffered greatly in times past in some way, because he hadn't been able to be with the woman standing before her.
The woman who was now his wife.
Mary Clare had prayed fervently over this, thinking it unholy somehow to do such things as try to change what must be God's plan for the workings of His Universe.
But in the end, she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around any of it and so gave up trying; other than to understand that past events that were now, according to Keiran, no more real than a figment of his imagination still held a power over him that was very real indeed.
"I'd be happy to show ya around, or ya can go on your own, if you wish for solitude."
"I want..." Liis didn't know what she wanted, and that was the problem. "I think, if it's not too much trouble...but I don't want to interrupt your day if you have important things to do."
"Important? Oh yes, my day is jammed full of urgent things ta do, Liis." Mary Clare joked. "But I think the plants in Father Quinn's office can wait a wee bit longer for waterin'. Come on with ya, then."
The Church of Christ the King at Turner's Cross was a sight to behold, architecturally.
From the gigantic sculpture of Jesus with arms outstretched that adorned the exterior as part of the entrance to the rows of polished wooden pews...to the tall stained glass windows in radiant shades of blue which lined the walls on either side of the opulent white altar, it was striking.
The affect that it had on Liis was equally striking.
She felt a sense of awe and wonder here that others of her world spoke of feeling when they visited the more-elaborate Bajoran temples; one she'd never felt herself.
She had even visited the Central Vedek Assembly compound, and still, while in that most holy of Bajoran spaces, she felt nothing but an anxious desire to leave. Not a whisper of the Divine in her ear; not a moment's flickering of a flame to ignite any feeling of...sacredness, in the place or in her heart.
Here she felt small. She felt humbled. She felt...something.
Perhaps it was the strength of Keiran's faith that she felt here; generations of O'Sullivans had worshiped in this place. Perhaps it was that which left her speechless.
Or perhaps it was the memory of the funeral Mass that she'd attended here, in the darkest of times she wanted nothing more than to forget.
She came to a sudden, sickening realization that more than any curiosity about this place, that darkness and the desperate need to dispel it was what had drawn her to it now. It hurt like hell, just standing within the building and yet, she hadn't been able to stay away.
As much as she wished she could claim any other as the reason why she'd come, she could not.
More than any wish to show respect for Keiran's faith or any other noble intention, the reason she had been compelled to come here really was that simple.
She had come to remind herself that the past was the past, and he was still very much alive in the present.
Mary Clare knew full well that her new sister in law was not hearing a word she said as she showed her around, but she was far too polite to point out to Liis that she knew this.
At least, at first.
She tried to allow the Bajoran to find whatever peace she could in this sanctuary from the world; however she could. Even if it meant walking in circles and listening to the ramblings of a small, Irish nun for the better part of an hour, which is exactly how it had happened.
Eventually, though, Mary's patience was at an end and so she chose her next two sentences with care.
"...and that's the story of the time Keiran managed ta set his vestments on fire when he was an altar boy. Durin' Easter Sunday services, no less."
"The time he what?" Liis returned to the moment, and Mary Clare allowed herself a small laugh.
"So, ya can hear me. I thought yer mind was in orbit up there somewhere in the heavens with yer ship."
"I'm sorry, Mary Clare. Truly." Liis sighed regretfully. "I've got so much on my mind. So many questions, I don't know where to begin."
"Begin with the first one, Liis. If the rest follow, ask them next. If they don't, they'll keep for another day."
Liis nodded slowly. "You said...Keiran came here today to pray. Did he say, or do, anything else?"
"Well he...lit some vigil lights and then he left."
"Vigil lights?" Liis knew full well what they were from the years she'd served with O'Sullivan- she'd heard talk of them more times than she could count. Still, she couldn't help but blurt the words out as a question, and Mary misunderstood.
"Yes, they're, oh, come on." Mary took Liis by the arm and yanked, dragging the tall Bajoran, boot soles squeaking along the shining floor, toward the altar for such candles.
"I know Bajorans light a whole'lotta candles in their worship..." Mary Clare began, smiling as Liis looked at her curiously. "Oh yes, dear sister. I did meh research." She smiled gently. "These candles are considered prayers, ya know. Continuin' ta be offered ta the appropriate Saints askin' help for somethin', or someone, even after the person sayin' the prayer has left church. Keiran asked me, he, well." She stopped now, uncertain if she should say any more.
"He asked you...?"
"To...keep these candles lit, not to let them go out. Until he contacted me and told me otherwise."
Liis stared at the hypnotic glow of the flames, and she watched as Mary pointed to a specific set of candles. "These, he lit himself, not long before you arrived."
"Who are they," Liis paused, knowing full well she shouldn't ask.
"Who did he light 'em for? Well, I can tell you this much, dear. This one is for Ma, God rest her soul. Second one's for Carrick. The next, for your crew aboard ship."
Liis felt a dull ache in her chest, pure emotion at the thought of Keiran praying, and lighting a candle for the Sera's crew.
"This one was for a friend of yours...the friend who just left on a journey?"
"Salvek," Liis said softly. Now, she felt close to tears and not wanting to let them show in front of Mary Clare, her eyes darted around the room as she began searching for the quickest way out of the church.
"The last one..." Mary volunteered, suddenly convinced that Liis needed to know more than Keiran needed it to be any sort of a secret, "the last one, he lit for you."
Liis spun away, closing her arms tightly around herself and staring up at the ceiling.
Mary Clare approached her, placing a tiny, fairy-like hand upon her shoulder.
"'Tis alright to feel here, you know. That's what this place is supposed to do. To help you feel connected to something, to Someone, greater than ourselves."
Liis didn't know how to explain that she wasn't having a religious experience, she was, instead, left mystified by much more fleshly things.
By the strength of the emotions which accompanied feeling, and accepting for the first time in her life, just how much someone loved her.
"I'm not worthy." Liis whispered with conviction, hurrying to wipe the tears from the corners of her smarting eyes.
"Of the prayers, or of Keiran's love?" Mary Clare asked, "because if either is what you're thinkin', dear sister, then it's my job ta tell ya that you're wrong, on both counts." She now used more strength than Liis thought her capable of to turn the Bajoran around, and she looked up into Liis' downcast gaze.
"My brother loves ya, Liis O'Sullivan. What ya are, what yer made of in yer heart is the thing he's been missin' all his life. You should know that I meant it when I told you on yer weddin' day that I'd never seen him the way that he is over you. Seein' him today, so worried after what you've been through since, only served to reinforce the point." She shook her head, her own eyes tearing up. "Take care of that man, and of yourself, Liis. He needs you."
"I need him, too." Liis admitted. "That is what scares me."
"'Tis more than that, though, isn't it, yeah?" Mary replied, suddenly feeling a chill that went all the way through her. "Somethin' about this place...is what scares you, right? Have...have ya been here before?"
Liis knew she couldn't explain, and hoped she hadn't already said too much. She did the best thing she felt she could do, in order to quickly divert the nun's attention.
She hugged her.
"Thank you, Mary Clare, for telling me about the candles, and the prayers," Liis said, truly grateful. "I'm certain that Salvek's family, if they knew, would be appreciative as well."
"I'll be sure to keep Keiran's candles lit for him," Mary Clare promised, "just...take care of my brother, Liis. Please."
"I will. And...I'll have to ask him about the time that he set his vestments on fire." Liis pasted on an artificial smile; one she hoped was well-practiced enough to fool the woman who didn't know her very well.
Mary Clare's eyes lifted to the ceiling. "Ah, bless. Well, if ya do and he asks how ya found out..."
"I'll tell him Cleary told me." Liis winked, teasing.
Mary Clare's musical laugh rang out and echoed inside the expansive space. She quickly contained it, and looked around to be sure no one else had heard it. She hugged Liis again. "Be well, Liis, and come back to us soon, the both of yis..."
Liis bolted to the door before Mary had the chance to finish her thought.
"Well, then. I guess you don't want to borrow my umbrella."
Liis shivered, managing to make it all of the way out of the building and back out into the cold and driving rain before she was forced to stop a moment and leaned against the nearest tree for support.
Her head dropped into her hands as she began to sob, unleashing all the emotions she'd kept bottled up since the moment she had been forced to go off on the Vanguard with Will Lindsay.
Watching through a nearby window, Sister Mary Clare O'Sullivan sighed deeply.
"God Bless ya, Zanh Liis."
She slowly made the sign of the cross, a silent gesture of unspoken prayer.
"I only hope whatever it is tormentin' you and Keiran both, that you can remember that 'tis always better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
-=/\=- Zanh Liis O'Sullivan
Commanding Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
Commanding Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012