928: Time to Go

by Rada Dengar
90726.12
Following Diverging Roads

-=Quarters of the Captain, USS Serendipity=-


It was quite a strange moment in Zanh Liis’ life as she realized she was utterly unsure of what to do. She’d dressed in her uniform once again. Her hair was neat and her pips were straight. Her boots shone just as they should. Everything superficial would tell anyone passing by that here stood a Starfleet Captain.

She’d never been much for eating in the morning; life was always too busy or sleep was far too precious. Keiran had tried to change that for her and to his credit he’d sometimes succeeded, but this morning her stomach would refuse to accept any such intrusion. She doubted she’d even be able handle a cup of coffee right now.

Somehow and at some point towards the end of her morning rituals she’d simply stopped where she stood and still she remained there staring at her own reflection in the mirror. Today the uniform looked on her much more like a disguise; like she didn’t belong in it anymore. It was quite unsettling what she saw there.

Beneath a complex web of emotion, uncertainty was hiding so plainly it was as if it needed to be found. Zanh Liis hated uncertainty; had no time for it. She knew though that now she had to be uncertain because she had to make a decision, a decision for change, and if she found that decision easy then that meant she was likely making the wrong one. Naloy’s words still echoed around the back reaches of her mind. They weren’t like a memory being searched for hidden answers; they were more like words of comfort remembered in the hardest of times.

In many ways the calmness was the worst part. The chain of her earring dangled so gracefully still, for once unaffected by busy fingers absently twisting its shape. She didn’t touch it because she really didn’t need to think about her decision now. She already knew what it must be.

[Hartcort to Zanh.] The doctor’s voice abruptly ended her time of silent consideration.

“Go ahead.” She quietly responded.

[The Admiral is speaking again and now insists that you come down here.] Hartcort replied, irritated by being put in the position of either letting Gem hurt herself trying to get to Liis or risk the damage caused by inviting her down.

“I’m on my way.” Liis answered and closed the channel.

Her feet began to move but they didn’t take her anywhere. She sighed as she took one last look in the mirror hunting for the woman everyone else could still see. She couldn’t find her anymore.

-=Sickbay; USS Serendipity=-


As she stepped off the turbolift Liis immediately saw Keiran approaching from the distance. He took slow steps away from Gem and his mind was at first filled with possibilities, with consequences and with concern for what had happened to the Gem Lassiter he’d thought he knew. Then in an instant he was caught by his wife’s eyes, suddenly filled with the sadness of a woman saying goodbye, and the importance of anything else seemed to melt away around him.

“Somethin’s wrong.” He declared as he took in the woman before him.

“I’ll be okay.” Liis answered, dismissing his concern and quietly repeating. “I’ll be okay.”

She knew she had to explain to him, not that she could explain it really to herself, yet it was clear now more than ever that the words wouldn’t come. So before Keiran could say or ask anything more Liis continued walking.

All the instincts he had told him that right now his wife needed him to be there by her side. He would have taken the world of troubles if it’d just have helped steal away her pain. Yet he chose not to chase her, and was instead left to stand helplessly by, and watch as she kept on walking. Clearly Liis felt there was something she had to do before she explained and Keiran knew he had to allow her that opportunity.

As Liis stepped through into the curtained area she was met with a sight not unlike what she’d expected. Gemini Lassiter and Lance Hartcort had evidently been able to reach some sort of agreement as he’d managed to keep her in the bed. She sat with blankets thrown off her down towards the end of the bed and one leg crossed tightly over the other as if in a gesture to make sure she looked comfortable where she was. Though still in her sickbay standard gown her pips had been attached and her right hand rested on a PADD she’d acquired as if this was just another office she was to work in.

Her face however was nothing like expected. Liis had always known Gem to be a hard woman; hard to know, hard to read, and hard at times to understand. She was certainly no softer now. She was however also an unemotional woman, not quite Vulcan but with a certain control, yet where once there had been that control; a cruel smile had formed on her lips and remained as she spoke harsh words. It was as if they gave her some twisted form of pleasure. Liis could have believed that, if beneath it she couldn’t see how scared Gem was.

“Captain Zanh Liis I am hereby immediately relieving you of command of the USS Serendipity for your actions during the events which lead to the loss of the crew of the USS Zenith. You will immediately hand command of this ship and all command codes over to your first officer. If you wish to challenge this decision then a general court martial will be convened and you’ll quite likely be stripped of your rank if not face imprisonment.” Gem took great delight in saying this, so much so that she almost shook. She expected Liis to fight her but felt she couldn’t do anything to stop her now. “You’re done.”

“I won’t be challenging the decision.” Liis replied flatly, shaking her head, feeling a chill pass down her as she couldn’t quite believe she was about to utter these words. “The fact is that I came here intending to offer my resignation.”

Gem’s face seemed to drop in surprise. She’d wanted Liis to have to struggle against her and fail. Now she didn’t have any words to offer in response and could only stare. Keiran however did have words to offer.

“Liis, what are ya sayin’?” He objected, as he stepped back through the curtain, having wandered over to be outside in case Liis needed him.

“It’s okay.” Liis insisted quietly to Keiran and to herself before turning back to Lassiter. Though his automatic reaction was to try to be by her side now more than ever, something in the way she stood told Keiran that he should stay where he was and let her finish. “All I ask is that I be allowed to keep the position until the end of the day so I can finish off my one last duty as Captain of this ship.”

Though his head was swimming with concern for what would bring on this decision, Keiran still thought clearly enough to correctly surmise what that duty was.

“Dengar.”

She nodded that he was correct.

“He’s been a member of my crew for almost two years. I can not just abandon him in the state he is currently. As much as I may hate the procedure he has to undergo, if there’s any hope that it can help him then I have to make sure he does it. I owe him that much.”

Gem’s appearance was no longer at all shocked and she almost laughed as harsh eyes met the honest concern on Liis’ face. Part of her was just admiring the irony of Zanh Liis leading someone into the resequencing chair. There was however another small part held deep down which was very glad for the choice she was being given. This part knew that some other people, in fact many other people, would look at this situation and not see that Liis was to blame. If she should get before a court martial then Gem knew she couldn’t risk it going the wrong way. Here Liis was handing her a way to avoid that.

“Fine with me.” She replied sharply as she quickly turned her eyes down to her PADD in a symbol representing that she was now officially done with Liis.

Liis accepted this without emotion and turned back to Keiran.

It contrast to her calm, his face was a collage of confusion and worry, both of which Liis hoped she could soon take away. Seeing that she’d said what she had to, Keiran immediately stepped forwards to be close to her and try to understand just what had caused her to make this drastic decision. She simply took him by the hand and squeezed it tight, a small gesture to say so much.

“How long before we reach Earth?” She asked.

“Actually, we’ve just arrived.” Keiran softly reported, his eyes telling Liis that the location of the ship was the least of his concerns right now.

Liis nodded her acceptance then began to move away from Gem with Keiran keeping beside her.

“In that case," she whispered. "that means it’s time to go.”


*********************************************

Lt. Commander Rada Dengar
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012

-----=/\=-----

NRPG: Thank you, Rada. ~ZL