by -=/\=- Zanh Liis
81201.00
Concurrent with The Moment
Soundtrack: My Shadow by Keane
-=/\=-
-=O'Sullivan Residence, Ireland, Earth=-
81201.00
Concurrent with The Moment
Soundtrack: My Shadow by Keane
-=/\=-
-=O'Sullivan Residence, Ireland, Earth=-
Liis raced up the stairs to the bedroom, knowing herself well enough to know that she would burst through the door after Keiran and Will if she didn't physically remove herself from the situation.
While putting distance between herself and the two men was her main motivation in retreating, there was also something that she needed to retrieve to take with her when she left.
Dressed as she currently was in civilian clothing, she wanted to be sure she had a uniform with her.
She may not have needed one on Bajor, but her aim now was to retake command of her ship and look Taris in the eye, one last time.
She would do it wearing a Starfleet uniform.
She pulled the desired item from the closet and spun back toward the stairs, prepared to descend as rapidly as she'd climbed them.
All of a sudden, she stopped moving.
She caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror across the room, and simply froze.
For an instant she saw herself as she appeared just days ago, standing in front of that very mirror. Dressed in her wedding gown, with TC Blane just over her shoulder and a smile upon her face, knowing that Keiran was waiting for her at the end of the aisle.
It was, and would ever be a perfect span in time in her memory. One in which nothing that happened beyond the borders of Ireland seemed to matter. For once it had felt as though Time was taking its orders from them; suspended at their command as Keiran and Liis denied the existence of anything, or anyone else but each other.
How she wished they could have held on to that power, and that feeling, just a little while longer.
The sound of Keiran's voice broke her free from the grasp of regret, and spurred her back into motion; she was sure that she heard shouting outside. His desperate tone terrified her and she asked herself again just how much heartache one man could be expected to endure, simply because he'd had the misfortune of falling in love with her.
She was equally worried about his physical well-being as she reached the main floor and found that the shouting had stopped, just as suddenly as it had started.
To her that indicated that someone had decided to shut someone else up, and she only hoped that if that 'word' Keiran had demanded with Will did in fact come to blows that they would clear the air completely before she and Will took off for the unknown. Leaving nothing unsaid between them just in case...
*Just in case.*
Liis scrambled over to the desk in her office and yanked open the top drawer, pulling out sheets of the paper stationery that Keiran had left in it for her and a pen along with them.
She knew that he had done so hoping that she would write him 'old-fashioned love letters' when the mood struck, even if there was no special occasion or anticipated time apart as incentive.
She had intended to do just so, knowing how happy it would make him to receive such gifts of words. Never had she thought that she would be writing a letter like this to him now.
*Maybe someday,* she thought, *but not so soon.*
The paper was fine; heavy linen embossed with the initials ZL boldly stamped at the top.
Liis ran her hands over the letters and closed her eyes. She had grown so accustomed, so fast, to everyone here calling her by his name that her own initials seemed foreign to her as she looked upon them.
She set two pieces of the blank paper out before her and grasped the pen in the icy fingers of her left hand. She tried to steady the movements of the implement but try as she might, it was no use.
The first note she wrote as quickly as she could, signing it with a flourish before she made definite, violent creases in the paper. She did so even as she continued hoping that he would never have to read it.
The second note she folded only once, in half before hurriedly scrawling his name on the front of each, along with instructions as to if and when he was to open them.
She gathered the pages up and left them where she was certain that he would find them. Then she took her uniform and shoved it into the suitcase he had already packed for her, intending to go along with her on a much different journey.
It was so quiet outside of the house now that she worried the two of them had either beaten each other senseless or simply decided to take off and leave without her.
She wondered if Keiran was capable, still, of doing such a thing. She remembered quite clearly how he'd insisted on telling Vox of their involvement in the very first timeline in which they'd fallen in love; and all the times since that he'd struggled with his conscience when faced with doing what he wanted versus what he felt was right or morally justified.
*He wouldn't do anything like that now, not after all we've...would he?*
She opened the door and affirmed, to her relief, they were sitting side by side on the long front step.
It was readily apparent that neither one of them was happy with the eventual conclusion that they'd come to, whatever it was.
Keiran looked up and into her eyes, with pain that she had not seen in him since the day they'd stood beneath that tree, and she'd revealed that she retained the memories of their past after the Sylph had gone.
The day he'd had to walk away from her while knowing, somehow, that she loved him as much as he loved her.
One look betrayed that he was fighting a raging battle against himself; his desire to do whatever it took to ensure her safety above all else. It had been his purpose to do so for so many years, and just as he thought he had finally secured a future for them in which he could always stand at her side and do just that, once again History had other plans.
She locked eyes with him and wondered if he, too, was haunted by Jonas Vox' warning.
It seemed to take every ounce of strength he had to do so, but he rose slowly to his feet and approached her.
He wrapped his arms around her and Liis simply seemed to vanish into them.
He struggled to speak, and finally succeeded. "Take care of yourself, Liis. Please."
There had been a change in the very physical atmosphere of the planet, Liis observed mournfully, becoming aware of the arrival of a soaking downpour as it began to pound against the roof of the house.
It was a sound perfectly suited to her sadness; the sound of the sky above Cork opening up, and weeping rain.
She bit her lip, looking up and watching the gathered storm move swiftly along the horizon.
The wind grew fierce and cold, so different from the gently falling night that had been so clear and bright with stars just hours ago. So many stars it had been impossible to count them all, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms after making love by the roaring waves of the sea.
Now all she could see standing between her and the velvet black to which she would soon return were deep, grieving clouds. Obscuring all celestial bodies. Overtaking firmamental hues of indigo and onyx and transforming them to a sorrowful shade of gunmetal gray; eerily bright, even in the midst of night.
Keiran held her to his heart, and she wished more than anything that she could just stay here. With him. Always.
She allowed her head to drop onto his strong shoulder for a moment before finally turning away, toward Lindsay. With her eyes she gestured toward the distant hills.
"Zanh Liis, we have to..." he objected.
"Start. Walking. Lindsay." She choked out each word slowly, clearly indicating that she would catch up to him but only after she had said what she needed to say to her husband.
Keiran's head remained buried in the crook of her neck. He inhaled the scent of her hair; gasping desperately as a man believing each breath may be his last.
Liis' hand moved to the back of Keiran's head as she held him, no words coming to her in this moment when she had so much that she needed to say that there was nothing at all she could say.
She managed to command his attention with only a sigh, and when he looked up for a second, she unabashedly pressed her lips to his. A single, lingering kiss that offered an apology, a wish, and an expression of unyielding affection, all at once.
Keiran held her face tenderly, weakening along with his resolve to let her go.
When she released him, he expected that her cheeks would be damp with tears, instead he found that Zanh Liis was not crying anymore. Her jaw had set, her eyes fixed as if on something only she could see.
He knew the look upon her face so well; how many times he had seen it before?
It was the one that told him she'd reached deep within and seized hold of her courage.
Her aspect was the picture of pure determination and stubborn force of will as he finally found the strength to look directly into those fathomless, steel-blue eyes.
*Sheʼs calm, sheʼs brave, and God, she is beautiful. *
He'd never seen such single-minded resolve in her when it came to her feelings for him; and to see it now, after all the years he could only dream she would one day love him as he loved her, was truly overwhelming.
For her part, it was taking every shred of self-control Liis had not to cave in, to just give up and tell Lindsay that he would have to find someone else to help him avert disaster this time.
Knowing that if she held her husband's gaze any longer she would lose her battle against letting him see how terrified she really was of leaving his side, Liis again buried her face into his chest.
"Forgive me, Keiran." She begged, the words barely intelligible.
He gasped sharply. "Liis,"
Before he could reassure her that there was nothing to forgive, that he knew exactly why she had to do what she was about to do, she kissed him once more.
A last, fierce, desperate embrace that she hoped would convince him that she wouldn't be taking any foolish chances with her life, not this time.
She had far too much to live for.
She kept her eyes closed, wrenched herself from his arms, and turned away. Only once he was behind her did she dare to open them again.
Before she could change her mind, she snatched up her bag and, with one jump, leaped down from the porch and took off running after Will.
"Show no fear!" Keiran called after her, certain even though she did not look back, that she had heard him. "You'll never be alone!"
He stepped out from beneath the awning and stood in the grass, allowing the rain to soak into him as he watched her disappear into the darkness, taking his heart along with her.
Once she was out of his sight, he wasted not a second. He hurried back into the house and toward the communications panel.
He had plans of his own to make.
As he passed the kitchen counter, he came upon two pieces of paper on display; folded and marked with his name.
In too much of a hurry to seal them in envelopes, Liis had scratched words onto them, and just the sight of his name written in her hand was enough to make his own hands shake.
As he looked around the house he'd built for her, just moments ago so alive as the home of his dreams with her in it, he fully grasped that the building was nothing but an empty shell without her.
He fought to focus on her words.
The first note was addressed to: Keiran: For now
The second chilled him through: Keiran: Only if the worst should happen
Two pieces of paper before him, and only one she intended him to read, unless it was meant to be that she was never coming home.
One, he knew he could find the courage to face. The other, he prayed that he would never have to.
He unfolded the paper and struggled, even as well as he knew her handwriting, to make out the words she had scribed in such haste.
Keep two lights on- I will be coming home.
I love you more than life-
I love you more than life-
with a certainty and strength that will bring ruin
to any who would try to separate us again.
Whatever you do now, please be careful.
Wherever you go, know my heart goes with you.
SHTV
~Liis
--------------------------------
-=/\=- Zanh Liis
Commanding Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
Whatever you do now, please be careful.
Wherever you go, know my heart goes with you.
SHTV
~Liis
--------------------------------
-=/\=- Zanh Liis
Commanding Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012