978: More Than Enough

by Keiran O'Sullivan
91011.20
During and after ...And Your Little Dog, Too
Soundtrack: Fix You, by Coldplay

-=/\=-

-=The O'Sullivan Residence; County Cork, Earth=-

Security Liason's personal log, supplemental.

I've just watched as a dutiful and I must say much more cooperative than expected Ensign Dane Cristiane dismantled, under my watchful eye, and then took the parts of the elaborate and very heavy wooden bed that I constructed as a gift to my wife back out of the front door of our house and loaded it into a shuttle craft.

I must say that Dane has earned several points for style on this. Even though, at the behest of the illustrious Mrs. O'Sullivan herself I agreed to let the boy use the transporter to send the bed back to the Serendipity this time, Dane would hear nothing of it.

Of course, I think the fact that having the very capable --and equally happy to accept the task given that it meant my wife will once again be Captain of the ship-- Lieutenant Tubman to help him in place of the much less enthusiastic and definitely less brawney Landry Steele had a lot to do with Dane's change of heart. Honestly, can't say as I blame him as that may be the surest outward sign of his intelligence and potential I've seen yet.

Keiran paused the log and rose from the leather armchair in Liis' office.

Slowly, sadly, he began walking through the house. The same space that was so alive when she was here seemed eerily and unbearably empty when she was gone, and he was suddenly feeling very much in a hurry to finish closing up the house and return to the ship. So much so, he thought of sending a message to Mary Clare asking her to complete the task in the morning so he could return to the Serendipity now.

He'd felt far too much emptiness in recent days and it had all been building up until this moment. Now the power of it was overwhelming, and Keiran felt as if the landslide was just over his shoulder, gaining on him. It roared ever forward, snapping at the roots every tree in its path and drowning them in the strength of its fury. He felt trapped up against the walls of a towering, opposing mountain; one so high he couldn't even see its peak beyond the clouds to judge the distance let alone decide if he still had the strength left in him to climb.

New memories mixed badly with old, and foremost now he thought about walking the halls of the Zenith knowing in his heart from the first step that they would never be populated again by the people who had taken her out of spacedock. In competition for his immediate attention, the wrenching sadness he felt as he'd wandered around the city until sunrise after talking with Gem about her past.

Sorrow had taken hold of him; sinking its claws into him like the beast it was and Keiran knew too well the power it could have.

He resisted.

He didn't want to allow it to drag him back into darkness he'd faced too many times before and remembered too clearly. He was consciously aware how many blessings he had to count and wanted very much to focus on them instead. It was just that with all of the noise and sadness surrounding him it was hard not to lose his place while trying to complete the list of them.

He heard a noise at the front door and, not expecting anyone, he immediately approached it. What he thought was a knock was actually a dull banging noise, something striking against it that the person on the other side was struggling to carry.

He wondered if Dane had forgotten something, or realized he'd taken something back to the ship that was meant to remain behind in Ireland. He spoke as he turned the knob and pulled open the door. "Ya'd forget yer head if it wasn' attached to yer shoulders, wouldn'ya boy?"

Liis looked up at him, fighting to keep her hold on the basket containing the squirming puppy. She had been having a hard time balancing it while attempting to get her key into the lock. "Aside from the 'boy' I'd say that you were right." She offered him a weary smile, and his matched it. They both were thinking and feeling so much more than they had been, or would be able to say.

This was the burden of command. They counted themselves fortunate, at least, that when the two of them were together even when they could not speak of the internal wars they waged, it was not a burden that they carried alone.

"Hello ladies," Keiran's eyes brightened. He leaned in and gave Liis a welcoming kiss before dropping his hand into the basket and ruffling the puppy's ears. "I's a nice surprise, this. I didn' expect ta see either of ya here tonight."

"I needed some air." Liis explained. She allowed Keiran to take the basket. The moment he set it on the floor the dog scampered to get out of it and ran off, her tiny nails clattering noisily against the wooden floors. "We leave early in the morning for Sibalt and I knew you were here so," she craned her neck, attempting to look past his massive frame as she realized she could no longer see the dog. "We'd better not let her go far."

"So, is 'her' now not 'it'?" Keiran flashed her a momentarily broader, almost satisfied and crooked smile. "Think she's winnin' ya over, a chuisle."

"So I hear. Which reminds me, the Coun'sl'r insists she needs a...name...oh no, doggie. No, no." She hurried over to the puppy, finding the animal in her office. She'd jumped up onto the chair at Liis' desk, curled up into a ball and closed her eyes. "Not on the leather furniture." Liis sighed.

"Liiiiisss..." Keiran dragged out the pronunciation of her name as his eyes begged that she let the little thing do as it pleased. Liis knew she was in trouble. She didn't know which was harder to resist, the dog's ever-increasing cuteness factor or the look in her husband's eyes. "Look a'it this way. If she's sleepin' there, you don' have to chase her, eh?"

"This is true." She exhaled a small sigh as Keiran's arms encircled her waist. "So what will I do with my time then?"

"Just," he pleaded softly, closing his eyes and pulling her closer as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Just be here with me."

She wanted little more than to just be here and nowhere else.

His heart was as heavy as hers was in this moment and she knew it. She could feel it, even though she knew better than to ask him all that had happened with Lassiter back at Temporal Investigations.

The look in his eyes warned her off as no words could, and she knew that she had no choice but to leave it alone.

"So. The little woman over there still needs a name, yeah?" Keiran gently tugged Liis over toward the couch. She sat down beside him and they took stock of the ball of fluff as she slept on, unaware.

"Yeah."

Keiran waited several moments for her to continue, but she said no more. Finally, he dropped his accent for a moment intentionally, imitating her tone and inflection. "Yeah? Yeah, she says? That's it?" He placed a kiss atop her head and laughed incredulously. "The woman who nicknames every animate being in her life ten times over an' half the inanimate objects as well has no thoughts on a name for her new best friend?"

"I don't want a new best friend. I like the one I've got already just fine." Liis declared, stealing her arms around him and resting her head against his chest.

"Okay. Then it's even more important we give her a name, right? So we don't have to revert to title."

Liis watched him closerly, secretly happy that if nothing else this topic seemed to be giving him a much needed diversion from his darker, troubled thoughts.

His eyes elevated towards the ceiling as he pondered for a moment. "Her fur is so white, it almost sparkles. Kinda reminds me of..."

He stopped speaking, a rush of emotion so strong taking over him that he temporarily lost the ability to speak. He closed his eyes, remembering so clearly the sight of Liis on a night long ago in a life gone by.

She was standing in the freshly falling snow on Christmas Eve, outside the house that his family had rented for the holiday in New England. A house she never would step inside of.

He could recall every element of the scene in vibrant, vivid detail.

The crisp, clear black of the sky and the brightness of the stars. The nearly blinding contrast of the fine, purely sifted snow.

Each gently drifted bank of it had been trimmed and angled; sculpted at the edges by the wind as piped icing on tiers of a wedding cake. Every peak and valley swirled and shined; impeccable and clean wearing this Winter's coat.

Every tree in sight glimmered and danced in the moonlight.

The entire world was dusted with diamonds, generously and artfully scattered across its perfect, untouched surface.

But the scenery, even as idyllic as it had been, was nothing in comparison to the woman at the center of it.

He remembered so clearly the warm, glowing redness of her cheeks against the biting cold. The paleness of her skin was as much of a contrast to the dark hair that framed her face as to the ankle-length, femininely fitted wool coat she wore.

It was a sight that he'd known he'd always want to remember, and was so grateful to be able to now.

Even though he hadn't gotten to kiss her for the first time that night as he'd wished, the moment that he almost had meant even more to him now. It was a reminder again of those blessings waiting to be counted, making him appreciate just how lucky he was to be here with her tonight.

"Keiran." Liis became concerned by his continued silence, but more so by the deeply distant look in his eyes. "Where are you?"

"I- I am," he stammered slightly as he tried to explain. "Am shiverin' in the freezin' cold on that porch," he whispered, his eyes still closed. "Watchin' you as you stood there, pullin' your gloves on and." The emotion in his voice was palpable, and Liis shivered at the sound. "Shakin' the snow from yer hair."

Liis could hold back no longer. She pulled him nearer still and kissed him, and afterwards she continued to watch him for a long moment as he seemed held in the suspended animation of reverie. She couldn't know exactly what he was thinking now, but she could guess what he was feeling. Finally he sighed contentedly and kissed her in return.

When they parted, she smiled at him. She glanced over toward the dog, who was beginning to stir from her nap. "She does rather resemble a little wisp of snow doesn't she? Hey." She grinned. "Maybe that's it. Maybe we call her "Snow White. Snow for short."

"Or maybe we call her sneachta." Keiran smiled broadly. "Means 'snow'."

"Or maybe we call her Snow." Liis laughed, threatening to tickle him only because she knew how much he hated it. She'd never actually follow through but she couldn't help loving the reaction the motion towards him produced.

"Sneachta!" Keiran both winced and laughed at the same time as he braced himself, even though he knew she'd never really tickle him because she knew how much he hated it.

For just an instant his pure happiness at seeing her this way, smiling and playful, eclipsed everything else he'd been feeling. He hugged her close and pressed his lips firmly against her forehead.

"I'm going to make you write that down." She insisted, allowing him to stop her movements with his embrace for a moment before wrenching herself just free enough to grab the pen and paper from the coffee table. She loved how he always kept these two items nearby. Even though technology had given them many different, modern ways of writing and storing data, she had never found anything quite as charming as seeing words written out on real paper in his handwriting.

Keiran took the pen and scrawled the word out quickly and almost legibly. He held it up and read it aloud for her. "Sneachta."

"Sneech-tah?" Liis tried her best to parrot the word.

Keiran almost fell over laughing. No matter how many times they had this conversation about Irish pronunciations or in what context, it was always funny to see her try. "No, no." he roared. "Shhnah-tha."

"Shhnapple."

Keiran felt tears filling his eyes as he could now no longer speak for the laughter. He just shook his head.

"Hey, there, you! Dog!" Liis abruptly exclaimed, as she felt that the puppy was now tugging on the cuff of her pant leg as before to try to get her attention. "Do you mind? I'm wearing those. You can't have them." Liis picked up the dog and set it in her lap. Keiran sat back and put his arm around her, his left hand patting the dog gently on the head.

"You don' wanna be called 'dog' an'a'more do ya then?" He consoled softly. "She's gotta get with the program, here, doesn't she Sneachta? Well I'll tell you what..." He scooped the dog up and brought it face to face with him. He brushed his nose softly between her ears affectionately and whispered. "Zanh Liis seems all big and tough but here's a fact. On the inside, she's even softer than you are on the outside."

"Hey now. What are you doing? Trying to currupt your dog already?"

"My dog?"

Liis sighed with resignation. "Our dog." She watched with satisfaction as Keiran set the dog back into her lap and then turned her face towards his so he could steal another kiss. "Our dog..." She pursed her lips and tried the name again once more. "Snahsha."

"Know what? I'll take it. I's close enough." He smiled much more sweetly now. As he watched Liis gently petting the dog and speaking to her in a new and different tone, his heart was so full he didn't know how all his emotions could possibly still fit inside of it.

It occurred to him as he took in all around him that moments so simple and so happy as this one were truly gifts to be treasured. While he understood full well they might not be able to erase all of the pain life could inflict to haunt a man, he was just as certain of something else, too.

He was just as certain that sometimes, close enough was so much more than enough.

=^= Keiran O'Sullivan
Security Liaison to The Alchemy Project
USS Serendipity NCC-2012