539: Stardust

80925.23
by Keiran O'Sullivan
-=Soundtrack: At the Stars by Better Than Ezra=-

-=USS Perseids, Inside the Sylph Bubble=-


Slumped over in the command chair on the bridge of the USS Perseids, Keiran O'Sullivan was in an altered state of consciousness.

Not truly unconscious, but, because of the manipulation of the Sylph, he was far removed from his actual surroundings and living a nightmare entirely too real, he believed, to ever wake from.

-=Flash=-


-=USS Serendipity=-


The crew milled around the arboretum.

In recent days, there had been heated discussions in more than one meeting of the senior staff as to whether or not this should be the location chosen for the viewing of today's ceremony.

Some had insisted that it made sense because it was the only place aboard that could hold the majority of the crew all at once; others had argued that it was too unkind to force the crew to associate this place they loved so well with what was about to happen.

In the end with Salvek as the voice of reason, practicality had won the day.

So, here they would wait.

Hushed voices carried on a multitude of different conversations simultaneously, as people tried to keep from getting claustrophobic as more and more people packed in.

They tried their best not to step into the flower beds, but this was easier said than done. February Grace noted with frustration that there would be repairs to be made to the gardens.

She wished, however, that it would be as easy to put back together the broken pieces of the heart of the gardener.

"I still can't believe this is how they're going to do this," Dane scowled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, she didn't leave any specific instructions. Jariel refused to make the decision, and so Salvek did some research and this was what he decided upon." Kellyn explained.

She glanced over at Arie, who was seated beside Tam Elton beneath one of the taller trees. She was glad, at least, that they were keeping each other company, and were both on their best behavior.

"She should be taken back to Bajor." Dane insisted.

"No," Kellyn countered. "Bajor was a place she tried all of her life to escape. Taking her back there would not be appropriate." She sighed sharply with frustration.

"Look. I know that this isn't a good time for you, Dane, but you have to trust that this resolution is the best answer to a question that none of us ever wanted to have to answer."

"Got that right." An unusually subdued Dabin Reece stepped forward. He rested his chin on Kellyn's shoulder, giving her arms a quick hug from behind. She reached back and patted him on the top of his head. "She was supposed to live forever."

Dane rocked from foot to foot with increasing frustration. *How the hell did we end up here?* He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw as he replayed in his mind the final moments in the life of Zanh Liis.


-=Flashback: Days Ago: The Farm: Klaestron IV=-


"They're all around us," Dane realized that their potential escape routes had now dwindled from few down to none, and he searched frantically for a last-ditch option. They'd been cut off from Blane and Steele, and who knew where the hell Reece was.

"I'm working on it!" Zanh hissed. "Just hang on to him, will you?"

Dane had the unconscious body of Carrick O'Sullivan slung over his shoulder, and the more they ran, the heavier he got. Liis turned to the Klaestron woman beside them. "Is there any other way out?"

"We're completely cut off."

"Then choices are going to have to be made. Dane, get behind me."

"What?"

"GET BEHIND ME!" Zanh shouted. "HEY!" She shouted to the guards at the end of the hall. "OVER HERE!"

Now she had their undivided attention, and she grabbed the unsuspecting Klaestron woman, Atien, by the throat. "If you don't let us leave, your employee dies!" Liis pressed her phaser to Atien's temple.

Atien tried to wrestle her way out of Zanh's hold, but the Bajoran was running on pure adrenaline, and her strength was remarkable.

"Don't do anything stupid," One of the guards called back. "We have you surrounded, you can't get out. Surrender."

"I am a Starfleet Officer," Liis announced. "Dane, put Carrick down." She knew she was blowing her cover, but at this point she could only hope that if anything might buy them some time, it would be that these people may be smart enough to hesitate to kill someone claiming to be Starfleet.

"And I'm the Klingon High Chancellor. Lunatics." The guard complained. "Give it up. It's over."

Suddenly, Carrick groaned loudly, beginning to come out of sedation. The noise distracted Zanh for a split second, and that was all that was needed to allow the worst to happen.

After Atien stopped fighting to free herself, she began to try to formulate another way to escape. She saw the hypo tucked into Dane's belt, and though she didn't know what was in it, she figured that it was the only chance she had.

As Liis looked down at Carrick, Atien managed to break free from her grip. Dane, who was still on his knees after lowering O'Sullivan to the ground, was easily taken off balance as Atien kicked him in the jaw. She grabbed the hypo, and the moment that Liis recovered and grabbed hold of her, she jammed the hypo against Zanh's leg.

Liis stopped cold.

She staggered backwards several steps, and collapsed to the deck.

"NO!" Dane shouted, as Atien took off running toward the guards and he dropped to the floor beside his Captain.

"Zanh Liis, open your eyes. Look at me." He shook her, and her head lolled to the side.

Her breathing rapidly became shallow, and she used the last of her remaining strength to look up at Cristiane as the life drained from her body. "Get Carrick home."

"Zanh Liis, stay with me,"

"Don't give up," Zanh mumbled softly, "...on yourself. I never did."

"Liis, no,"

"Tell him..." Liis closed her eyes as Dane cradled her head in his hands. "...that I love him."

Then, she was gone.

-=End Flashback=-


It had all happened so fast. Dane had no way of knowing that Blane, Steele and Reece had regrouped and were bringing the local law enforcement to their rescue.

They had arrived only moments too late to save Zanh's life.

The Away Team had returned, having accomplished their mission, but at a price that seemed to them to be way too high.

"Hey." Dane heard a voice behind him and turned.

"Hey." He nodded to Landry, who frowned.

"You okay?"

"I guess so." He shrugged.

"Are you going to go to the dinner? You know, after? I can save you a seat at the Junior Officer's table."

"No thanks."

"Look, Dane," Landry bit her lip. "I know I didn't know her as well as you did, and I don't really know you that well but, you shouldn't, you know, blame yourself. For any of this. She knew what she was doing."

"If I'd known what I was doing, she wouldn't be dead now." Dane insisted, before turning his back on her and walking away.

"Don't take it personally, kid," TC Blane appeared over Steele's shoulder, having witnessed the exchange. "He hates everything right now. Most of all, himself."

-=Across the room=-

Salvek worked his way through the crowd, which was no easy task. With only a skeleton crew left on the bridge, he had to be sure that all was taken care of before he could attend to this obligation of honor.

He stepped up to the gazebo in the middle of the arboretum, and tapped his badge twice. He had rigged it to patch him through the ship's main comm line, so everyone could listen even if they could not watch.

"Please come to order." He requested, and the chatter surrounding him died down. He was about to shock the crew, which was not an easy thing to do considering they'd been in something of a state of shock for days, ever since they had been told that their Captain had perished in the line of duty. "If you would, please, clear a path to the doors."

Security assisted Salvek in making the request a reality; ushering the large group into two halves and creating a narrow path up the middle between them.

Once everyone settled again, Salvek cleared his throat. He was a man who had spent all of his life attempting to suppress his emotions, but today one one of those days when he'd had to struggle against a panic that reappeared after every intermittent, hard-won moment of control.

"Captain on deck." Salvek announced, and everyone turned expectantly toward the doors.

No one knew who was going to take command in Zanh's place; everyone had simply assumed that it would be Salvek.

Salvek, however, had revisited his priorities in light of recent events, and decided that it was time for him to return to Engineering Research as his primary focus. He would remain on the Serendipity in that capacity but he would no longer serve as her Executive Officer, let alone her Captain.

"By the Prophets," Lair Kellyn gasped, unable to stifle the words as she caught sight of the Sera's new Commanding Officer.

"Dane," Landry fought her way through the crowd to get to Cristiane, who was sulking in the corner farthest from the windows. "LOOK!"

Dane didn't want to look.

He stared at the floor until he heard another voice speak up in astonishment as well. This voice belonged to TC Blane.

"I'll be damned."

It was then that Dane looked up and instantly recognized the man before him who was wearing four pips.

"My god," Dane leaned back against the wall. "I don't believe it."

A few paces behind Captain Keiran O'Sullivan, a woman with gray hair and the rank insignia of an Admiral walked with purpose toward the podium situated inside the gazebo.

As she and the man she'd accompanied reached it, she leaned in to him and asked him one final question.

"Are you certain you don't want to do this, Captain?"

"Aye, Admiral," O'Sullivan replied, honestly amazed he was able to maintain an upright position considering what was going on. "I can't."

She patted him on the arm gently, and then nodded respectfully to Salvek.

"Admiral Lassiter." Salvek announced, and he removed his comm badge, indicating for the Admiral to put it on so she could address the crew.

"I'm Gem Lassiter, and I am the newly appointed Director of The Alchemy Project," she began. "I would like to begin by thanking TC Blane, Dabin Reece, Dane Cristiane and Landry Steele for their dedication to duty, and for seeing their mission through to the very end,"

She grasped the edges of the podium as she spoke, glancing quickly over at O'Sullivan, who was now standing toward the back of the gazebo with his son at his side.

"Even though that end was bittersweet." She drew in another long breath.

"Captain Zanh accomplished her task, surrendering her life in the attempt to bring Carrick O'Sullivan back to his family. A family," Lassiter paused once again, "which has asked me to convey that they will never forget her sacrifice."

At the back of the arboretum, a man dressed all in black walked slowly through doors held open because people were standing in the doorway, trying to see in.

As each person present recognized him, they did their best to move out of his way, allowing him the chance to get closer to the windows, which had been cleared of the greenery which normally obstructed them.

He only proceeded about ten steps, however, before he stopped. He could bear to go no further.

He turned, prepared to retreat. Coming here was something he had thought long and hard about, not knowing if he could stand to watch. At the last moment just when he was about to bolt, he felt a gentle hand tugging at his and looked up to see February Grace, tears in her eyes, grasping his hand.

She held him fast where he stood, and he leaned against her for support as he stared blankly ahead of him.

"You may be wondering why the decision was made to come to Perseus on this solemn occasion. I know that several of you have theories, and I am now able to share with you, the crew, really the family of Zanh Liis, why we have brought her mortal remains here."

Jariel glanced upward, feeling that he was being watched. His eyes met those of Keiran O'Sullivan, and they nodded slowly to each other in understanding before once again looking away.

"Captain Zanh was very fond, I am told, of the annual Perseids meteor shower. This was something she only shared with a few of those who knew her best. The reasons as to why it was such an important event to her may remain forever a mystery."

Keiran bowed his head. He knew the answer to that question. But it was an answer that belonged to him, and Liis, alone.

"Captain Zanh specified only one thing as part of her Starfleet regulation Last Will and Testament. That was that she be cremated. Under the 'additional comments' section of that will, she wrote, quote, "Do not bury me whole. The very idea creeps the living hell out of me. Of course if I'm dead, I guess I won't care anymore."

Soft laughter rose from a few in the crowd, who knew Zanh well enough to know that certainly no one else could have made that remark.

"Those closest to the captain were asked to make their suggestions as to where her ashes should be scattered, and in the end, there was one suggestion, from someone who wishes to remain anonymous, that it would be best to bring her here, to Perseus, not only so that she would always be among the stars she loved so well, but so she would be here, and would be remembered, every year when the Perseids fall."

Salvek glanced sideways at O'Sullivan, noticing that the man seemed to be swaying slightly from side to side. He discreetly stepped up beside him, ready to act should he lose the ability to stand.

Carrick reached forward and put a hand on his father's shoulder.

"So we commit the body of Captain Zanh Liis to space. I did not get the chance to know her well, but I do know one thing about her from reading her logs,"

Lassiter looked directly at several individuals in the crowd, holding their gaze for a moment before moving on.

"She loved her job, and she loved each and every one of you."

Lassiter stepped back, and nodded to TC Blane. Blane whispered softly into his combadge, and everyone shifted their focus to the windows.

A small probe was launched and all watched it go past, even though they were unable to clearly see the probe split apart and scatter Zanh's ashes among the stars of Perseus.

The crew of the USS Serendipity stood in mute observance of a moment of silence before finally, they were dismissed.

-=Later=-

"What's goin' on?" Keiran strode across the bridge as soon as he exited the turbolift, noticing that the doors to the Ready Room were propped open, and that people were inside.

"We're just clearing the room for you, Captain," The ensign from Security explained. "We had orders to,"

"Don't touch anything." Keiran insisted. "Just as she left it, you hear? I want the room to be preserved just as she left it."

"Aye, Sir," The men glanced at each other in confusion. "If that's what you want,"

"Is precisely what I want. Dismissed."

Once the doors had closed, he moved slowly from object to object, taking each one in.

He knew already that he would always think of this as her room. Her ship. He could never take her place, he could only watch over the Sera, and her crew, for Liis since she could not.

The door chime rang, and he sighed. "Come in, then."

TC Blane stood at attention before him. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"Aye, Mr. Blane. Please, have a seat."

"I'd rather stand, Sir."

"All right." Keiran gazed out the window. "Have you considered that promotion, Mr. Blane?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Will you accept it?"

"I'd like to consider it a little while longer, Sir. Just..." he relaxed his stance just a little. He knew that if anyone could understand that he didn't want to make any final, major decisions today, it would be O'Sullivan.

"Tomorrow. I promise you an answer in the morning."

"Very well. Thank you. You can go."

As he turned to leave, something caught TC's eye. Still in the center of her desk, just as she'd left it, was the sailor's spy glass that he'd given her last Christmas.

He closed his eyes a moment, clearly able to see Zanh Liis, coffee going cold before her as the cup sat on her desk untouched, as she opened and closed that glass, in deep contemplation of some important decision she had to make.

"You should have that back," Keiran picked it up, and held it out toward Blane. "She loved it, you know. I hope that you'll keep it safe, and remember her when you see it."

"I couldn't."

"Thomas," Keiran took the liberty of addressing Blane in the manner that Liis would have, if she'd been standing there instead of him. "Take it."

Blane nodded, and slowly accepted the glass before quickly exiting the room.

On his way out and in his haste to depart, he nearly barreled right into Vedek Jariel.

"Jariel, are you," Blane knew it was ridiculous to ask the Vedek if he were all right; everyone aboard knew that the answer was no. "Do you need anything?"

"Just a moment of the Captain's time." Jariel replied. "Thanks, TC."

He didn't want to wait for the doors to close again just so he could ring the chime, instead he strode right into the room and addressed O'Sullivan directly.

"Why?"

"Why what, Vedek Jariel?" Keiran was in no mood for any kind of emotional exchange now. He knew that his taking command here would be awkward for the Vedek, but he also knew that doing so was the right decision.

"Why Perseus?"

"I should know the answer to that?"

"Yes. You should. After all, bringing her here was your idea." Jariel declared, folding his arms over his chest. "Don't even attempt to deny it."

Keiran forgave Jariel his short temper; if anyone could understand how the Vedek felt right now, it was him.

"How do you know?" Keiran was not ready, or willing, to divulge this information.

"Why. Perseus.' Jariel demanded again, glaring through him.

"Not today, Jariel." Keiran turned away, back towards the window. "Someday. But not today."

Without another word, Jariel retreated.

As he made his way through the halls of the ship, he didn't know where he should go. He couldn't go back to their quarters, he couldn't go to the arboretum.

He found himself moments later at the door of Salvek and Kellyn, though he could not even have explained why or even how he got there.

Kellyn offered him a cup of tea, and he sat quietly down on their couch. She told him that Salvek was meditating in the bedroom, and would speak with him shortly.

A few moments after Kellyn had disappeared to fetch Jariel's tea, he felt a slight tug on his sleeve.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Camen opened his eyes to see a very concerned Lair Arie sitting beside him.

"You know that Zanh Liis is in the Celestial Temple now. Safe, with the Prophets."

Jariel thought of all the times he had tried to comfort himself with the thought already, and how every time it had been no consolation in the end.

"I know. Thank you, Arie." He patted her on the hand, and stared at the floor.

"I...lit a duranya. For the Captain." She stood up, and tugged at his hand again. "Will you pray with me?"

"Will you pray for her, for me?" Jariel asked, his faith unable to carry him far enough tonight to do what she asked of him.

"Of course, Esteemed Vedek." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before disappearing into her room.

When Kellyn returned, she found Jariel with his head in his hands, silently weeping.

"How..." he asked her as she put her arm around him, "...what do I do now?"

"You do what Liis would tell you to do, Camen," Kellyn whispered. "You just keep putting one foot in front of the other."

-------------------
Captain Keiran O'Sullivan
USS Perseids NX 57871