879: What Shall Not Stand

by Rada Dengar
After Two Words

-=USS Serendipity=-

Only an instant was allowed with the shields down for Rada to be beamed back to the Sera, but that was all it took for crewman Parrish to get him there. As the Angosian materialised back onto the transporter pad his face was frozen, with an absence that Parrish had never seen in him before. It was only broken by the briefest flash of relief followed by what could almost have been called guilt before freezing up again.

Rada had not even considered the fact that he’d be immediately brought here, not to sickbay to see Wren. He’d been granted a momentary reprieve from the site he knew would confront him and it felt horrible to realise how good that’d felt. He should want to be there to do everything in his power to comfort her.

He barely acknowledged Parrish was there at first. Then his eyes dropped instantly down to his position and he just seemed to stare. He was realising that if he let himself then he may never reach sickbay, just walk the halls of the ship until he heard her condition had changed. If it changed for the worse then he knew he’d never see her.

In that moment he’d decided what he had to say but was completely unsure if he really could say it.

“Crewman,” he managed, his tone monotonic and his words purposefully slow. “Beam me to Sickbay.”

Parrish didn’t even question the wisdom of this decision. Though Rada was practically a stranger, and he knew nothing about his relationship with Wren, Parrish could tell that Rada wasn’t going to sickbay for his own needs. Few people realised just what the transporter operator must see. All the happiness of families reunited and excited new officers on their first trip aboard, could never offset the fact that every time a crew member was injured on some godforsaken planet or learnt that someone they knew onboard was going to die; they came through here.

Just a look at his face and he knew which one Rada was. He knew he didn’t need to wait. With elegantly speed his hands moved around the controls and in a moment Rada was reformed at the entrance to Sickbay.

He couldn’t see Wren yet, but he was not alone here.

“Rada, I…” Zanh began, but he didn’t even register her existence.

He just kept walking on past in search of what he was here for. Lance Hartcort was already here and Rada didn’t need to even consciously acknowledge that to know that the expression on his face wasn’t a good one.

He walked until he’d turned a corner and she was there in the distance. It was like there was a discontinuity of his consciousness as without remembering the journey he was standing over her body.

She was lying flat in a bio-bed, trapped in a stasis field. She was pale. She was empty. Even without touching her he could tell she was cold.

She was surrounded by the gentle beeps of technology as if it was supposed to somehow hide the silence he found in her. Her face was expressionless, her normal vibrance absorbed by the darkness he felt. Her eyes were closed but he knew the shine he was used to just wasn’t there.

His hand began to rise up to touch her but he stopped it, knowing it would be without meaning. This wasn’t Wren. This was a woman suspended; unmoving and unfeeling. She had no force or energy to her. Though these machines may have said she was alive; deep down he couldn’t see it.

For a moment in which time seemed not to pass he just stared at her. Then something broke in him and he knew this could not stand. His eyes surged back from their lazy apathy to almost aflame. It was flame fuelled by anger, anger at himself, at his foe and at anyone who’d let this happen.

His senses awoke as his concentration shifted by necessity from the woman in the bed before him to every other point in the room. Whereas his perception had been of darkness as the world which didn’t feature her was irrelevant to his consideration, now he realised that this world was the only place he could find his redemption.

He turned around, turned his back, abandoning the beeps and the silence. His steps were quick and his actions deliberate as if he had more energy than he knew what to do with. He ignored the doctor, ignored what he represented and marched onwards towards his Captain.

Though she could see that on the inside he was breaking, had she not known him as long as she had then she could have sworn that he was just angry. There was a look in him from times that seemed so long ago now that she’d almost forgotten it had been there. It was fury barely absorbing the desperation. It was that undefinable thing she’d seen in him on that day when he’d attempted to kill her.

Though she knew him too well now to ever believe he’d let history repeat itself, her hand just as then had dropped down automatically to her phaser. It was different though this time, as he didn’t tremble and he appeared not to fear her. He was in control, or part of him was, and that part of him had decided upon exactly what it was doing.

His face was hard, much harder than she was used to, but there she almost saw a smile as he hurried towards her. His focused eyes never dropped, never blinked and never showed even for a second that he was thinking of what he’d just seen.

She wondered how she should respond. She knew there was nothing to say, for now she had to let him deal with this anyway he found to be possible. Though acknowledging her he looked like he may not notice that she wanted to speak with him, but then abruptly he stopped and stood forcefully before her.

Words looked set on his lips to form, but there were too many thoughts for him now to express any of them. He seemed to struggle with the concept before dismissing it out of hand, instead saying calmly as he left,“If you’ll excuse me, Captain, I believe I’m needed in Engineering.”

Lt. Commander Rada Dengar
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012