949: Purgatory: One

by Wren Elton and Keiran O'Sullivan
90911.22
Hours after While Horse and Hero Fell and Soul Searching

-=County Cork, Ireland, Earth=-

The chill of the Alaskan air still clung to Keiran O'Sullivan as he ascended the steps of his front porch.

The sun had almost completely set now, leaving the sky tinged with orange, still burning beyond the hills into the prevailing, ebon cloak of heaven.

He inhaled sharply as he grasped the doorknob and turned it. He was pleased with the way his day had gone, but could only wonder what state his wife would be in when he found her on the other side of the divide.

He had seen her a lot of ways in the lives they'd lived in times now and times long gone.

He'd never seen her quite like this.

Seeing Zanh Liis without her in-born, stubborn will was like...Keiran didn't even know what to compare it to. It was so completely unnatural a thing that he couldn't even imagine anything which could come close to seeming so unreal while still having happened.

He wondered how long it was going to take, and he figured sadly that it wouldn't be long, before she began to regret that she'd let Lassiter win without even putting up a fight. He had to wonder and indeed worry what it’d do to her when she looked back and realised what she’d done.

She was never a woman who’d lived without regrets, but it was a special kind of regret when you began to question just how easy the outcome could have been changed it if only you’d tried. Keiran had spent far too long with that kind of regret himself but to a woman with Liis’ fight this may have been the first time she felt its sting. It’s the type of sting that’s very hard to ever forget.

"Liis?" He called, as he took his jacket off and hung it on the coat rack in the entry way. "Am home, are ya-"

She came around the corner from her office, and he noticed first the look in her eyes before anything else. It was a look that told him, to his profound relief, that not all the fight had been taken from her just yet. She looked almost herself again.

"Do you know," Liis' spoke through clenched jaws, "what she has done?"

"I know she took the Captain from Sera's crew." Keiran replied slowly, choosing his words carefully while wondering just how far Gem was planning on taking her obsession to lay blame for Nicholas' death.

"You don't want to know." Liis remarked with clear anger in her words. She was pacing quickly, something that he had no way to know she'd been doing for hours already, waiting for the call that Lassiter had finally left the Sera so she could beam up.

Suddenly Liis stomped away, across the room and up the stairs. Keiran followed, but not too closely behind. He was wise enough a man to know it was best not to impede Liis’ movements at a time like this. It wasn’t like she was getting anywhere; she just needed to relieve the overwhelming frustration that came with being still when there was clearly somewhere she wanted to go. He’d provide her with a listening ear, but he wasn’t going to crowd her.

"She's taking them away, one by one. Ended Kellyn's career. Gave Ledbetter your old job."

Keiran actually burst into incredulous laughter.

"I know." Liis responded, knowing she need say no more on that particular command decision. "Keiran, she," Liis hands were clenched so tightly now that her fingernails dug deep into her palms. Seeing this, and knowing sometimes Liis needed more than just someone to hear her, Keiran swiftly approached her and grasped her firmly by the arms.

"What could she do that is worse?"

"She's sending Dane all the way out to 212."

"One call to Will fixes that," Keiran offered, doing his best to keep her calm enough to be constructive but not wanting to risk extinguishing the fire that he was so grateful to see had returned to her.

"She's going to remove Dengar." Liis stated gravely, and Keiran's eyes widened in disbelief as Liis’ reaction began to make much more sense. "Who the hell knows where she'll send him. Keiran, he," she stopped, and O'Sullivan waited patiently until she could find the courage and the will to continue. "He doesn't remember his family. He doesn't remember Wren."

Keiran felt all the wind knocked from him at the very thought. His feelings of gratitude for seeing Liis returning to behaving like herself were dampened if not washed away as he realised that while he couldn’t doubt Liis as she was now could make whatever small miracle was required to save Dengar’s position happen, she had no such way of retrieving those memories that were lost.

Though he didn't know the couple as well as he knew others aboard ship, he well remembered Rada's struggle to contain his emotions upon hearing Wren was hurt. He'd been clearly told, in that moment, everything he needed to know about their relationship. Everything he'd surmised in that instant had only been reconfirmed by all Rada had done in his desperate attempts to save Wren from the Domox; actions that hadn't only saved her, but saved them all at the price of his own soul.

"God above." Was all the answer he could give, there was nothing more to say.

"Yeah." Liis replied, then watched as Keiran slumped down onto their bed.

She sat down beside him and as he leaned forward, rubbing his eyes, she felt the irresistible need to comfort him. She put an arm around him and Keiran instantly turned toward her, grasping her so tightly in both of his that she could barely breathe.

He was a man seeing someone else facing a world that had for a time only existed in his own nightmares and needing more than anything else to prove to himself that they were still only nightmares for him.

They sat for several moments in silence, just holding each other, having no need of words to explain what they were feeling as they both felt it together.

Finally, Keiran drew back just enough to look her in the eyes; her beautiful vibrant eyes that offered once again the strength he’d always found in them. He spoke quietly words he was hoping that now if ever she’d be able to believe, even unsaid.

"They need you, Liis. You know that."

"Well, if I didn't know it this morning,” she said, slipping back from the tightness of his grip and instead taking his hand in a sign to say she was really here. “Thomas and Salvek have done their best to convince me of it since."

"Have they now?" He asked contemplatively, knowing she’d not have said it if it weren’t true and making a short but precise note in his mind to thank them both individually when he next had the chance.

"Aye." Liis said, shaking her head and employing Keiran's signature affirmative phrase and follow up. "That they have."

Keiran watched her with hope as he could read that on some level their words seemed to have sunk in. Then that hope evaporated in an instant as a heavy thought crossed her mind and she said softly “They’re very loyal men.”

“That they are,” Keiran acknowledged slowly, then quickly corrected upon reading what she was thinking “but I think when it comes to loyalty a man’s nature rarely matters. True loyalty’s somethin' that’s earned and in the end it’s the only kind, yeah? Any other sort is fine and strong durin' the good times, but it can’t stand to pressure.”

Certainly there was pressure in facing the wrath of a powerful Starfleet Admiral and neither TC nor Salvek’s loyalty had ever been in question. Yet doubt was a powerful force, often more powerful than convenient reasoning. He could see her doubting now.

“They want ya back, Liis.” He simply but strongly informed her, even in absence of all the facts being able to put the scenario together. “They wouldn’t be goin’ ta this trouble just for an'a'one.”

Liis heard what he said and had to try to accept it, even if she still couldn’t quite believe it.

“I know that, I just…I don’t know.” She said with honestly and exasperation directed to nothing in particular before she turned and looked up and into Keiran’s deep blue eyes for the special meaning she’d often found there. He said nothing as he could read that she was searching for the words to ask a question. When she finally turned her head back down he could tell that she’d found them.

“I need you tell me something, Keiran,” Liis said quietly. “I need to hear you say it because I know you’ll not just tell me what you think I want to hear.” It wasn’t that she thought for a moment that Salvek or TC would choose to tell her that, they’d sure as hell never done it before. It was just there were some things only Keiran could say and give them the weight they needed, only he knew her quite that well. “Do you really think I’m the one they all need?”

Keiran resisted the powerful urge to offer the immediate response he wished to. Instead he gently exhaled as he gave his answer all the thought Liis clearly thought it was due. Still, he found just the same truth he’d known all along.

“Honestly, Liis…” he began but knowing this was a point he needed to get through he lifted his hand to her cheek and guided her to ensure she was looking directly in his eyes as he spoke it. “I do.”

Liis found she couldn’t quite respond as she tried to process something which in the entire time she’d been their Captain she’d never really considered. Keiran decided he would give her the time she needed so just remained there seated beside her.

The silence in their home was only broken by the familiar beeping of an incoming call.

It was only a quiet sound but still a very loud reminder to Liis about just why she’d been so anxious before Keiran arrived home. Automatically she reached toward her chest to where her combadge would once have been and finding the spot still unwelcomely empty she hurriedly rose from the bed and moved toward the communication console.

For just an instant Liis stopped while the beeping continued, to turn her eyes back to Keiran in a gesture which asked a thousand questions. It only took a single nod from him to answer them all.

Though there was little doubt of its origins, as she arrived she automatically read on the screen before her that said the signal was coming from the Serendipity. It was audio only.

She activated the machine, stopping the repeating tone

“Go ahead Serendipity.” She answered without even really thinking. Perhaps a simple ‘hello’ would have been a more conventional way for an at least technically at present civilian to answer a call but such a thing didn’t even occur to Liis right now.

[Captain, I mean…] began a familiar voice though without the picture there was no face to put to it. The man was clearly trying to decide on just exactly what to call her. Quickly he decided. [Captain.]

“Parrish, is that you?” Liis asked with a touch of surprise, his voice not being the one she’d expected to hear.

[Yes, sir it’s me.] Parrish replied. [I was told to inform you as soon as Admiral Lassiter left the ship. I’ve just beamed her off.]

Liis without realising it paused upon hearing the confirmation of why he’d called. It was just for a moment as it occurred to her that the prospect of beaming up to the ship no longer felt as comfortable it always had before. She was unsure just who or what she was beaming up there as. Yet recalling Keiran’s use of two simple words reminded her that she still belonged there.

[Captain?] Parrish questioned the silence.

Liis woke up to what she’d been doing and remembered that time was of the essence not. She then noted that he’d said ‘beamed her off’ and not ‘beamed her down’; that meant he’d not sent her down to the Earth.

“Where did you send her?” Liis asked, not only knowing that if she knew then it’d give her a better chance of gauging how long Lassiter would be gone but also realising that if recent history was anything to judge by then wherever Lassiter would go was just somewhere else she was going to cause trouble for the crew.

Parrish paused, unsure of what if anything he should say.

[The Zenith] He finally and reluctantly said.

It was enough for Liis to understand. Gem would have to sort through Nicholas’ belongings now that he was going, something no mother should ever have to do. Liis knew this would probably give her a bit more time to work with than she’d expected and that she should be glad for that but she was never a vindictive enough woman to wish that experience on anyone, no matter what they’d done.

Liis noticed out of the corner of her eye that Keiran had followed her, and the look they exchanged said everything that they didn’t need to. No one said anything more on the topic of where Gem had gone.

“Prepare to beam two up from this location.” She instructed, turning herself back into efficient ‘Captain mode’ that Keiran was very glad to see. “We’ll contact you soon.”

[Aye sir.] Parrish replied and closed the channel.

-=/\=-

Keiran and Liis materialised onboard the Serendipity and acknowledged Crewman Parrish.

Though there were a lot of people to see and a many things to do they both knew where they would go first.

There was one person on board they knew there was really nothing they could do for, one of the few whose wounds were not inflicted by Gemini Lassiter’s spiteful desire for revenge, but one who was hurt by recent events as much as and much more than anyone else.

“Computer, locate Wren Elton.” Liis requested softly as they both stepped out of the transporter room.

^Wren Elton is in the personal quarters of Lieutenant Commander Rada Dengar.^

Neither needed to mention it, they’d both heard that they were just Rada Dengar’s quarters now. They were the quarters of Rada Dengar and Wren Elton no more. Liis had known and indeed insisted it had to be done but that still didn’t make it any easier as she considered what Wren must be going through being there right now. She was a visitor at a place she still felt should be her home, at least that part wasn’t entirely unfamiliar to Liis at this moment.

The ship had a deserted feel to it as they walked through the empty halls. It was not unusual at this time and in this place to find no one else there and yet now the emptiness felt truly lacking because every certainty they had about this crew was crumbling as Lassiter attempted to disassemble it one person at a time.

They’d stood in this very place so many times before and yet Liis couldn’t deny that it did feel different than when they’d left. It didn’t feel wrong, but it did feel like she was viewing a familiar world through a stranger’s eyes.

They’d last taken these identical steps when they came to collect Rada for his resequencing, genuinely accepting that they’d never be taking them again. It’d been from the perspective of two Starfleet officers, taking their last mission for their ship and their crew before they closed that chapter of their lives.

Being back proved that all such assumptions were wrong, they never closed the chapter but rather just stopped writing it for a little while. Knowing how easily they could add another page brought a lot of plans of what they’d thought would happen into question. It was not however a question they could really ponder now.

-=/\=-

As they arrived outside what were just Rada’s quarters now, Liis reached up towards the chime but Keiran took her hand and held it back.

“You know, Liis, ya don’t need to be here.” He assured her quietly, knowing better than to think she’d agree and yet needing to make the offer because he knew this wouldn’t be easy for either of them. “If you want to go make yer arrangements with Salvek then…”

Liis stopped him before he could finish.

“I do need to be here.” She explained and Keiran knew just why that was.

He released her hand, but before she could reach for the chime the door before them opened itself, revealing a figure moving rapidly towards them. It was Wren Elton, but not as they’d known her.

She had the biting red eyes of a woman who’d cried for far too long and the weight of indescribable sadness weighing down her soul. Yet the sadness they knew she felt was but a fraction of the emotion that was heard in her words.

She was not herself as she moved. Her calm and peaceful nature was replaced with nothing close to serenity. She struggled onward without grace, without elegance and without any sign that she had thought through what she was going to do.

“How dare you come back here?” She furiously demanded, her eyes locked squarely and hatefully on Zanh Liis before her.

Wren Elton
Manager, Afterthought Café
USS Serendipity NCC-2012

and

-=/\=- Captain Keiran O’Sullivan
Currently Between Assignments
Temporal Investigations/ The Alchemy Project