By Ensign Vol Tryst and LT Rada Dengar
80412.12
Directly After Part One
-=Turbolift Four Alpha, USS Serendipity=-
80412.12
Directly After Part One
-=Turbolift Four Alpha, USS Serendipity=-
"Wonderful." Vol said with a half-plastered smile on his face. He had come to the conclusion that conducting any kind of psychiatric evaluation of the Engineer at this moment would be out of the question. Vol hadn't been ready for a completely closed mind, and still that fact caused his to fumble some cards as he shuffled them. He finally put the deck away, and stood up to look at Rada on a more eye-level manner. "Don't let me stand in your way Lieutenant."
Rada nodded in acknowledgement and made his way up to a control panel fixed on the wall. He removed the protective casing and began to examine its contents. He really didn’t like the look of this, especially due to the fact that the sensitivity of this situation gave him no room to fiddle. Normally Rada loved to have the option to stand back and take a moment to think in privacy or failing that private moment he liked to fiddle around with the project to create an illusion of work until he could examine all of his options. This situation allowed him neither option. This was not going to be easy for either of them; Rada felt like he was a vet being approached with a snarling Doberman in an oversized bird cage and having its owner ask why their budgie can’t fly. How could he fix a twenty-fourth century Turbolift when it didn’t think it was a twenty-fourth century Turbolift?
Vol on the other hand simply felt what one would call unbearably uncomfortable, he was quickly learning how literal that term was. He didn’t trust those that he couldn’t read and Rada was no exception. In fact Rada was worse than most. Generally some one whom Vol couldn’t read was like an empty book but Rada was like a book which had been emptied and then had the pages painted over just to make doubly sure.
After several minutes of Rada tilting his head back and forth and saying hmm a lot, all part of Rada’s impression of a normal person giving this Turbolift the proper time and consideration it required, Vol was naturally beginning to feel very anxious, he had managed to distract himself by returning to his cards, first sorting all them all by suit and then into ascending order by value and then finally shuffling them back into a randomised order. That was however quickly losing its appeal.
This experience was painfully uncomfortable for both of them. Rada hated being watched while he worked by anyone but being watched by a Betazoid was much worse. The tension was getting too much. He turned around to Vol, intending fully on making some friendly conversation if only to break the mood, alas what trite sentences he had planned simply disappeared from his mind when he noticed how Vol couldn’t stay still.
“You’re not claustrophobic, are you?” he asked for the first time concerned emotions seeming genuine, reflecting on the fact that whilst life on a Starship may seem a strange choice for someone suffering this condition but knowing that Vol was knew here and that your average Turbolift ride generally lasts a matter of seconds he thought that his condition may have just started to kick in “Because you can leave here if you need to, it’ll just involve a little…risk.”
*Great, now not only is this Man handing me falsities instead of his true mind, he's making assumptions as to my own state at the moment.* The stray thought reminded Vol of something his father and mother used to tell him when he was a small child. 'Betazoid gongs are used to give thanks to the Gods and Goddesses for the food we eat. You can also, however, use the gongs to express your irritation with a person by smacking said person over the head with the sacred gongs. Believe me, the Gods and Goddesses will likely be just as thankful.'
The thought caused him to chuckle. Since he still hadn't answered the Engineer's first question, Rada thought the chuckle was Vol's response.
"Sorry, didn't want to assume. It is a bit of a silly fear, isn't it?" Rada feigned laughter on his side while thinking to himself that Vol was probably a nutter. What kind of a counselor would laugh about a condition which one of his patients could easily have? The sound of another's voice brought Tryst back to his present space and time.
"Pardon me? Did you say something?" Vol asked sincerely. Rada slowly turned around, was the man being rude, or was he really off his trolley?
"I was asking if your fidgeting and pacing were due to a fear of closed spaces."
"Oh yes. No no, I'm quite alright with turbolifts and the like. If I am to be honest however..." Vol decided he was going to just be himself, unlike Rada. After all, Betazoids were well known for their honesty, whereas Angosians were not known as being resistant to empathic species. "...I have been able to read and sense Angosians that I've previously encountered. So I am left with the conclusion that, your mind being completely shut off to me, that you've developed a way of blocking Betazoids from scanning you. That in its entirety, makes me very nervous."
Rada had to admit that he was impressed, he had underestimated Vol. “Why should not being able to read a single being make you nervous? Most of us go through our entire lives without being able to scan those around us” Rada asked.
“It’s part of the way I interact with people. I am used to sharing people’s emotions and I don’t trust it when people hide their emotions from me and try to cut me off from that.” Vol explained, and decided he'd use a metaphor. "Say you were served a freshly cooked meal three times a day, everyday ever since your adolescence. And before every meal you were told how it was made, to how long before the vegetables were picked, to how the animal was killed, to what spices were used, at what temperature it was cooked, and so on and so forth. You'd come to expect to know exactly what went into your meal before you had it. Running into someone I can't read, would be like you not being told the details of your meal. It doesn't necessarily mean the food will be bad, but a constant that used to be part of your routine is now gone. It's almost enough to make someone lose their appetite."
Rada had turned back around to his work while the Betazoid spoke. After he had finished, and Rada had taken in his meaning, he asked a question without looking back around at Vol “But tell me, Counselor. People lie to one another all the time by choosing their words and actions, why should it be so different for me to choose my emotions?”
“Emotions go further than just words, part of growing up in a galaxy like this is learning how to lie with words to be polite or to avoid conflict, but learn how to lie with your emotions requires something more. It requires a need to hide something so desperately that you can never risk it getting out because the very idea sends a chill through your very soul.” Vol explained uneasily then after a pause added, “ It’s a very dark need to have.”
Rada decided it was best not to reply to this and instead to change the topic. “You see, my problem is here that I am trying to repair a problem which as far as the Turbolift is concerned doesn’t even exist. The inertial dampening system is stuck on but the archaic programming doesn’t recognise that. The modern version would recognise it but if I were to activate the modern version then the system would still be stuck on but would not be exercised discriminatorily. It’s the Engineering equivalent of treating a Klingon with rage issues who suddenly thinks he’s a Vulcan, while he still thinks he’s a Vulcan he exercises self-discipline but you can’t treat his rage issues because he won’t accept he has them but if you help him realise he is a Klingon then he will forget about the self discipline and you are putting yourself potentially in great danger before you can even treat him. What would you do under those circumstances?”
Vol could see that Rada was avoiding a response to his statement. This man was desperately running from something, he acted as, whatever it was, was already snapping at his heels. Vol made a mental note to add this to the Engineer's record; trust issues.
When Vol assessed the hypothetical situation he had been handed by Rada, he chuckled again. This time, thinking of a very old animation movie he had seen.
"Ellie, the possum-acting mammoth."
"Pardon me, Counselor?" Rada asked. Vol ripped himself back to the present.
“The first step of the healing process for any patient is to acknowledge that there's a problem. In the case you've described, I'd say I'd first ask my patient what they believed a Klingon was, and how they differed from Vulcans. I'd introduce them to different environment where they could point out to be me, the Klingons and the Vulcans. The key being that, all the while, making the patient see that there's no race is better than the other. That each has the ability to love, and be loved in return, to be successful in their careers, etcetera. After which would come the patient's self-analysis. Looking in the mirror, for example.
"If the patient said themselves that, for example, Vulcans have pointed ears, once the patient saw that they did not it would be a matter of time before they concluded they were not Vulcan. After that, it's short skip, hop and a jump to them realizing they’re Klingon. However..." Vol made a pause. "...Just because someone doesn’t accept something about themselves, doesn’t mean it can’t be treated. It's more of a challenge, no doubt, but I've found that often once you’ve cured some initial symptoms, it then often becomes a lot easier to treat their resultant delusion.” he replied.
Rada realised now that Vol was right. He had been trying to convince the Turbolift that there was something wrong with its inertial dampening systems so that it would shut them off but all he really needed to do was to shut them off. Hydrospanner in hand he set to work quickly disabling both the primary and backup power feed to the inertial dampening system. Whilst he was still working he began to speak again. He realised that he did owe Vol some degree of honesty, perhaps not honesty in emotions but a small amount of words.
“How would you really describe that feeling when you can’t read someone?” Rada asked.
Vol thought about it, apparently his last metaphor hadn't been as effective as he had believed. He couldn’t think why Rada would want to know, “First of all, I would just like to clarify something. I can sense the presence of all life forms. It's offset by their proximity to me, but just because I can sense them nearby does not necessarily mean I can sense their emotions.” Vol breathed deeply. "I can close my eyes and still sense you here, but it's when I look for emotions that I'm at a loss. It's a basic emotion really, fear. Not the intense overbearing kind, simply the kind of fear that causes discomfort. I'm used to knowing something that I am now being barred from, it's unnerving. When it comes from an individual that is of a species that normally have no objections to being empathically sensed, I find it difficult not to take offence by it."
Rada cut in “Like being in a room with a person who won’t even tell you their name. And even though might be just that one, out of a hundred, it still screeches at you how they keep in the dark.” he paused “All you can imagine as you look into that one person's eyes is the darkness hiding behind them. Such pain. Such anger. They’re a trapped and frightened child yearning to be free but always aware of the burning of the lights. Still you can’t help them because you’re terrified of even a touch as you’re still completely aware that you’ll never know what they could do. So you try to run away but those feelings still haunt you. What you can’t see will always remain.”
Vol words caught in his throat. The accuracy was unbelievable, and sent the Betazoid deeper into his own personal fear. “That’s...correct, but how could you know?”
Rada replaced the cover on the panel as the Turbolift gave a whir of approval. He replaced his tools in his kit and picked it up. He took a moment to reflect before ordering the door to once again unlock, and proceeded to leave.
“Not being an empath means I can’t see the light,” he explained then allowing just that bit of pain to slip through whilst taking his final steps to leave this place, he added “...but I NEVER can’t see the darkness.”
Ensign Vol Tryst
Ship's Counselor
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
and
LT Rada Dengar
Chief Engineer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
Ship's Counselor
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
and
LT Rada Dengar
Chief Engineer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012