266: Let Go

By Ensign Palahna
80430.11
(This post takes place a few days before the Sera left space dock)


-=M-Class planet Saturna, Beta Quadrant=-



"Do I take everything too seriously?"

No answer.

"Do I have unrealistic goals?"

No answer.

"Do I have to prove myself to the entire universe?"

No answer.

Palahna's brilliant green eyes passively surveying the smattering of light fluffy pure white clouds, the powerful red sun, the expansive depths of the green-blue sea and the bright blue sky. She leered over the World, soliciting it, begging it, daring it to reply. In all of it, there was no acknowledgment, no indication that her words had been received.

Nature was apathetic; it was steady, constant and she was but a dwindling flame before it.

But inside of her, a fire was building. Her next words barreled off her tongue, reverberating outward and disturbing tranquility into the distant horizon. She screamed, uncontrollably, her whole body convulsing around her violently contracting vocal chords as they birthed the sounds with reckless abandon - like a caged Kardan razor bull roaring out of the pen.

"WHY? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE?"

For more than 50 meters below was a jagged rock face, carved out over centuries of wear and tear, and beneath that a succession of tumultuous waves and sea that engulfed over half of this planet. She stood at the edge of the cliff, at the edge of the ocean. A delicate breeze sailed around her body. Behind her was a vast, rough field of dried yellow and brown grasses, burnt over the course of the long, scorching Saturna summer. It had a population of only several hundred thousand - there was not another intelligent lifeform for a hundred kilometers.

She was -

Isolated.


Ignored.


Forsaken.


Palahna shrunk down on her weakening knees.

"Three years..." she cried. "I gave everything. I more than did my duty to Starfleet - better than anyone could, better than anyone expected. I just wanted to prove once and for all... I worked hard every day, every shift and every hour. What good is a little recommendation? Is that all I have now? Tour of duty's over... Life on the Endeavour's over. I have no friends... nobody's looking for me. Nobody will miss me...

"What could life on the Serendipity bring?..."

Palahna picked herself up to her feet, breathed in a long deep breath and peered hesitantly into the abyss...


***
Two days earlier...

The euphony of Science Lab 1 was slowly winding down around her, minute-by-minute, experiment after experiment, terminal after terminal. With each step Ensign Palahna of the USS Endeavour heard a dial turn, a workstation power off, a sensor pack put into storage. The science team's work was quick and efficient, as the starship's arrival back at Earth drew closer and closer. The young Orion hovered slightly, hesitating, and then strode decisively forward and into the office of the chief science officer.

"Ensign," welcomed Lieutenant Jonathan West, with a practiced grin. "Please sit down."

Palahna nodded and assented.

"Your orders finally came through," the 32-year-old human reported, leaning slightly backward, casually, in his chair. "USS Serendipity. Intrepid-class..."

"Brand new ship. Total crew complement: 255. Under the command of Captain Zanh Liis. Currently tasked as a mobile logistics craft, at least, that's what official record indicates." Palahna interjected. "Is Starfleet certain that this vessel will be the best fit for me?"

West's fake smile returned. He remarked, "You've done your homework. As always."

"No reason to stop just because the assignment is ending. Just because the Endeavour will be put into dock for a year of upgrades is no reason to be unprepared. Besides, I have found it useful to memorize basic information on all Starfleet vessels."

"That's a lot of ships," West said succinctly. His eyes glanced off, scanning the barren room that was just days earlier filled with assorted paleontology tools, a replica of Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory, a selection of rare Earth flowers and a 1:100 scale model of the old Earth bark HMS Endeavour. The lighting in the room was warm and radiant, standard work-environment setting. Aside from the ever-so dull playing of a violin concerto in the background - which Palahna believed was originally written by Venetian composer Antonio Vivaldi - the office was isolated from the outer laboratory. "As for your unique talents, given my recommendation, Starfleet had a devil of a time finding an appropriate assignment for you. I believe that you will find that you have a lot to learn on the Serendipity."

"Perhaps, sir, they will find they have a lot to learn from me." She retorted.

West frowned and shifted tack. "Frankly speaking, you take everything too seriously, Ensign. You have unrealistic goals - it's as if you are single-handedly trying to prove yourself to the entire universe."

Palahna sat silently, words escaping her.

"I had the pleasure of meeting your future superior, Mr. Dabin Reece, on an occasion once on Deep Space 23 - though I am sure he wouldn't remember. He's damned smart, intuitive as can be, and has a great sense of humor... let's just say he has a very unique energy. The experience should be a good one for you."

The last sentence came out with a hint of sarcasm that Palahna wished she hadn't heard.

[Lieutenant West to the Bridge. We are entering the Sol System, sir.]

Tapping on his communicator, he replied. "Aye, I'm on my way." West turned back to the green-skinned Orion and said, "Listen, Palahna, we didn't always see eye-to-eye on things, but I respect you. You're a good scientist, maybe one of the best on board, but you've got to lighten up. Let go. I have arranged for you to take a few days off. I strongly recommend that you get away from it all, and for once, do NOT take any science journals with you. This is time for you to relax, decompress, de-stress. Report to the Serendipity in four days." He rose to his feet with resolution, clasping a PADD in his left hand. "If you ever need anything, feel free to contact me."

Palahna stood up and met his extended hand in a firm shake. "It has been a pleasure serving for you, Lieutenant."

"He would be proud of you."

She smiled; he didn't need to say who.

Palahna could only hope that her father indeed would be happy with her work.

"Thank you, sir."

They walked out into the science laboratory - they were the last ones to leave. As they exited into the main corridor, the lights flickered off.

***
Two days later...

"What could life on the Serendipity bring?" Palahna asked herself as she looked down into the depths below. "...Another chance?" In the far sky, her eyes detected the dark silhouettes of a small group of squawking seagulls. In the ground below, she felt the course, dry grains of sand grating between her fingertips. From the depths below, she heard the slow crashing waves.

And suddenly, all around her she felt as if nature - in harmony - itself replied, acknowledged, accepted her, transforming into kindling to her raging fire.

"Never, never, never give up. That's what Dad would say. Never give up.

"Bring it on!"

She breathed in and, with a running start, vaulted herself over the edge of the rock facing. Her body soared as a bird, arms outstretched, embracing the world. Palahna smiled broadly, straightened her line and pierced the water with near perfection, leaving behind a piddling splash that was all too readily erased by the sea. The water - icy, intoxicating, seductive - engulfed her.

Ensign Palahna
Science Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012