256: New Digs, Old Tricks

By Rada Dengar and Lair Kellyn
80408.20
The Morning After The Learning Curve

-=Engineering Research and Development Laboratory,
Deck 6: USS Serendipity=-

"Swanky new digs you have here!" Dabin Reece looked around Lair Kellyn's newly dedicated workspace approvingly.

The Engineering Research and Development Laboratory now under her command was truly a sight to behold, with all the best equipment and modern gadgetry Starfleet could provide.

"Thanks. I was quite surprised when the Captain and Salvek unveiled it to me. I wasn't expecting anything so roomy. I'm used to running these types of experiments in a glorified broom closet."

As Reece considered her words, he scanned the room with his tricorder. He checked the resultant reading twice and his smile mutated, lower lip extending outward.

They had taken two of the smaller Science labs and combined them into one- with a result that was an assault on his ego as Chief of Sciences.

Her new lab, which adjoined his, was a full two meters larger.

"Hey, how do you rate, Mrs. Pointy? Your toy box is bigger than mine."

"You answered your own question. I'm Mrs. Pointy." Kellyn joked as she wiggled her eyebrows. "Really though, Reece, don't be insulted. The Admiral wanted me to have the largest possible amount of space in which to conduct my important experiments."

"As opposed to the never-ending Jenga tournament I'm running in Science. Got it." Reece pouted.

"Your desk is bigger than mine." Kellyn pointed out helpfully, trying to console him.

"Two whole meters." Reece sighed and closed the tricorder in disgust. "And anyway, you know it scares me? Having you right next door. I was on DS23 with you, you know. . ."

"Ah, yes. Was that before or after you blew up Zanh Liis' ship?"

"I told you a hundred times, that was the Romulans' fault!" Dabin stomped his foot like a defiant child. "Don't change the subject. I remember when your first transwarp prototype tore a hole in the very fabric of space time as we knew it. Almost ripped the station apart. I had to get out the needle and thread and start sewin'."

"It's a good thing you're such a talented seamstress." Kellyn ruffled Reece's hair affectionately, something she knew he sorely hated. He ducked out of her reach.

"I'll be keeping an eye on you, Lair. I'm going to ask the Captain if we can put one of those sliding windows in between the two labs. Just so I can keep watch over you at all times."

Kellyn thought he was kidding. He knew this, and he let her go right on believing that he was kidding. But there would soon be a window.

"So you ready for these, what did the Captain call them? Simulations, and seminars and. . ."

"Cross departmental training exercises." Reece replied, rolling his eyes dramatically. "She can call them whatever she wants, I call them a pain in my spotted. . .hey!"

He observed she had moved across the room and was no longer giving him her undivided attention. "I was talking to you!"

"I'm still listening. But I have to get this back before Rada knows it's gone."

Lair held up Dengar's tool kit, which she had taken with the intention of changing the inscription to reflect that he was in for a surprise upon his return to duty. "The Captain is allowing me the pleasure of informing him of his promotion."

"Should I have the smelling salts ready?" Reece reached out to touch the shiny plate Kellyn had just finished polishing, and she swatted his hand away.

"No, but some toffees might be helpful," she mused, her soft-spot for the young engineer apparent.

In her years as a Starfleet officer she had always seen herself as the one to be mentored by others- but somehow, it seemed in the time she'd known Rada, amazingly, she had become something of a mentor to him.

She just wondered when he'd finally realize that he really didn't need one.

"Come on, mad scientist. Let's see if we can go find him and give him the good news that his workload just quadrupled overnight."

-=Rada’s Quarters=-

“Come on, Come on,” Rada urged the computer desperately.

^Two hundred and thirty objects on board contain the specified materials,^ the computer responded cheerfully.

“Remove all entries outside of the specified size restrictions.”

^Two hundred and twenty-nine objects remain,^ the computer replied helpfully.

*Damn it, I can’t let Kellyn know I’ve lost it* Rada thought to himself in a panic.
Things had seemed so wonderful just a few short hours ago, after half a dozen attempts he had succeeded in saying goodbye to Wren. This was followed by quite a relaxing trip back to the Sera; no one even spoke to him, it was wonderful.

Then of course the unthinkable happened. The most precious gift Rada had ever received had simply disappeared. His beautiful, shiny new tool case was gone. He could never let Kellyn find out, this gift was supposed to be a symbol of everything that he had accomplished since they first met and to celebrate his promotion, and he felt that Kellyn would be well within her rights to have him demoted upon realizing he’d lost it.

He was trying frantically to track it down but the computer was being of no help. He swore to himself that if he ever tracked it down he would have to fix a communicator to it so that this could never happen again because he’d simply be able to request its location from the computer.

That gave him an idea. “Computer, locate Lair Kellyn.”

He couldn't find the case yet, but he could make sure to avoid Kellyn until he had.

^Lair Kellyn is in turbolift 5 Beta.^

“Destination?” Rada quickly asked.

^Unable to comply. Insufficient parameters were provided.^

*Of course they were.* Rada thought to himself in frustration. He immediately dismissed the voice interface and decided in stead to let his hands do the talking. After all, if it had been good enough for people three hundred years ago then it was good enough for him now.

The computer then displayed a nice little diagram which in its own nice little way confirmed Rada’s worst fear. Kellyn was coming to Deck Three and to make things worse it looked like she was coming here, to his quarters.

*I’ll lock the door,* was his immediate response but it was immediately followed by a flabbergasted *What am I an idiot? If I lock the door then she will simply ask the computer to locate me. Then she’ll know I’m in here and she’ll know that I’m ignoring her!*

It would be one thing to have Kellyn hating him for losing this precious gift but quite another to have her think that he was angry with her and ignoring her for some reason. Rada could only see one possible consequence of this, Kellyn would demand a rational explanation of why Rada was ignoring her. This would leave Rada with only two options. 1) He tells the truth that he’s afraid of admitting to his own mistake of losing his tool kit or, 2) He lies and gives a reason which will be inevitably be proven wrong in the long term.

The way he sees it; if he tells the truth then Kellyn will inevitably realize that Rada is not made of the right stuff to be in this job, she’ll tell her husband tonight who’ll tell the Captain in the morning who’ll send a subspace transmission to Admiral Vox during a mid morning coffee break who’ll have Rada thrown off the ship and replaced by a proper Engineer by tomorrow lunch time.

Alternatively, if he lies then when Kellyn figures out that he’s been lying then she’ll either conclude that the lie was deliberate or accidental. Either way she’d realize that it wasn’t rational, it would be concluded that Rada was in fact being quite irrational and they would assume that his medication which maintains his rationality was no longer effective. Therefore resulting in his immediate transfer back to the mental institution and his dismissal from Starfleet.

Whilst the truth seemed mildly better he wasn’t about to give up life on the Sera without a fight.

He immediately considered a site to site transport but knew that such an activity would raise alarm bells all over the ship, from security to operations and of course on the bridge. It was no good, he’d have to make a run for it.

He took his combadge in his hand and considered throwing it onto the bed and then running in the opposite direction so than anyone who asked the computer his location would be led here and not to wherever he ended up, but realized that the time gained would be negligible. As soon as Kellyn learned that Rada was not in his quarters, not too difficult considering Kellyn’s resourcefulness, she would simply track him by ordering a life sign scan for the only Angosian onboard. That was when he realized that there was no escape.

-=Outside the door of Rada’s quarters=-

Kellyn and Reece had made their to Rada’s quarters, a quick check with the computer on their way had confirmed that Rada was inside.

“He’s probably thinking he’s lost this,” suggested Kellyn whilst gesturing towards the tool kit she was carrying. “Can you imagine the look on his face when he opens the door and sees I have it? Then, just when he thinks everything’s alright, I’ll strike with the good news.”

“Let me just say now, if he does faint, then I am not going to be the one to give him mouth-to-mouth,” replied Reece.

-=Back Inside Rada’s Quarters=-

The door chime activated.

Rada looked around frantically for some kind of solution. He didn’t speak USL yet, if he could just lose his voice then he would at least be unable to answer any questions until he’d had time to think.

The replicator must be the answer. He could order some food which took away your voice, like that extra spicy food he had with Avery that time. That would have the added bonus that if he got it on his fingers it might render him unable to use a PADD for sometime. He realized however that he couldn’t do that because aside from the effects only lasting for approximately ten minutes, eating food that spicy was unlikely to go in his favour in any kind of psychiatric review which was coming.

*Who do I know that’s lost their voice?* he asked himself, realizing that the seconds were ticking away. *THE VEDEK!* he internally exclaimed. *All I have to do is to find some kind of long lost Bajoran Orb within these four walls, make contact with the Prophets, get them to acknowledge my significance by demonstrating a knowledge of their religion which I don’t yet possess and then offend them somehow so they take away my…* he now realized it was hopeless.

He practically fell towards the door as he accepted that his fate was set. He sighed. He slowly ran his hands over his pips. It had been nice being here.

He opened the door for Kellyn, grateful that he at least knew what was coming, or so he thought.

He was immediately surprised to see not only Kellyn but also her spotted friend and his own shiny new tool kit.

He didn’t know what to say, he saw no way of hiding the fact that he’d lost the tool kit now that Kellyn had found it and it wasn’t in his possession. His hands weren’t red but they were empty.

Worst of all a cursory glance told him that it had been damaged. The word ‘Assistant’ had been taken right off the inscription.

He decided to pretend not to notice that part at first. He decided it was best just to show Kellyn how grateful he was to have it back, hopefully to a degree that convinces her that he’ll never lose it again.

“My tool kit, thank you so much,” he said enthusiastically and with a large smile on his face “Where did you find it?”

"I found it in the Chief Engineer's office." Kellyn stretched the truth a little. In fact, she'd had the Captain's permission to 'borrow' the tool kit from Rada's quarters for the purpose of fixing the inscription, and Security had assisted her in procuring it. But this explanation sounded so much better to her than "I stole it from your bedroom."

"What in the worlds would it be doing there?"

"Well, why wouldn't you keep your tools in your office?" Kellyn asked innocently. So innocently that Rada took it as read that it was in fact his office, for an instant. But then he began to wonder what she was on about. He wondered if she had gone for her own mandatory mental health check yet- if not perhaps she should be moved up the list ahead of the rest. She was suddenly delusional.

"Of course, if I were the Chief Engineer I would likely leave my tools locked in my office. . .it would make more sense than bringing them back to my quarters at nights to keep them handy. . ." Thoughts began to collide in his head- the first domino triggering a cascade of conflicting possible explanations.

Kellyn decided to spare him any further misery. She held the kit out toward him, indicating his name next to the freshly modified inscription.

"Congratulations, Rada. On behalf of Captain Zanh and the whole crew, I am pleased to inform you that you have been promoted to the position of Chief Engineer aboard the USS Serendipity."

Rada didn’t know what to say. He got down on one knee and just ran his hand slowly over the inscription. Here it was. Incontrovertible proof. Lair Kellyn had gone insane.

LT Rada Dengar
Chief Engineer, Whether He Believes It Or Not
USS Serendipity NCC-2012


and

Commander Lair Kellyn
Director of Engineering Research and Development
(with a secondary specialty in tormenting poor Lieutenants)
The Alchemy Project