37: Paint the Sky With Stars

Paint the Sky With Stars
by February Grace
Soundtrack: Paint the Sky With Stars by Enya
71219.2130


(. . . continued from "Confession")


"It's not difficult," Jariel countered defensively. "Not anymore. I know exactly what matters to me." His voice broke, and his shoulders sank as his head fell back into his hands.

"Seeing Liis open her eyes and smile at me. Seeing her back where she belongs, on the bridge of a starship. Doing what she loves, and keeping watch over the people that she cares about. So that I can," he folded his arms and rested them on top of the chamber, leaning his head against them.

"Look after her?"

He nodded. "So I can give her the only thing she's ever asked of me. My whole heart, without reservation. I promised her," he lifted his head to look at Bru, his eyes rimmed with red circles. "When she woke up, for just an instant, I promised her that there was only one purpose to my life now, without question. I only hope that she heard me."

"I'm sure she did," February paused, "JarieI, I want you to put all your energy into holding on to that promise. Turn it into faith you're going to have the chance to follow through on it. Believe that while time and space may have conspired in the past to keep you and Liis apart, that nothing can now, not even the Prophets," she squeezed his shoulders supportively, "whether they be gods, or wormhole aliens. Their power must be limited. Otherwise wouldn't they already have forced you to do their bidding, without any say in the matter?"

"The Prophets gave us free will. They desire us to give of ourselves, in return, of our own accord." He was quoting textbook passages now, and the words were empty.

"If they gave all Bajorans free will, they had to know that some would use it to choose another path. You have a choice. Don't ever forget that."

"To those whom much is given, much is expected."

"There's that word again. Expectation. If they're omniscient, they ought to recognize when a flesh and blood being is doing the best that they can, for heavens sake." She threw her hands into the air. "Short of lying down and dying for them, which, from the little you've told me you likely already have in another time line somewhere or other, there is nothing more for you to give to them. It's enough now. You're enough, already. If they don't accept you the way that you are now, after all these years, will they ever?"

He shook his head and touched her face softly with the back of his hand. "You've grown up so fast, right before my eyes, February Grace. How did you come to be so wise?"

"Lifetimes of not getting what I wanted. What Grace wanted." She held his gaze, determined to convey the cost of those years with her eyes. "Hundreds of stupid mistakes that Grace made as other people. I remember every single one. I'm learning from them, and I've decided that the greatest crime any of us can commit against ourselves or the people we love is to waste time. Or to sacrifice a moment's happiness trying to be what other people expect us to, just because they expect it.. They can all go to Hell. Honestly."

"Don't ever give up that happiness. Hold onto every second of it. Tightly."

"With both hands." She promised.

He wiped at his eyes and regained some semblance of calm. "You should have gone into counseling, you know," he added, with admiration. "You would do a wonderful job at it."

"Are you kidding me? I'd never be able to keep any distance from my patients. I'd be a train-wreck." She wiped at her own eyes as well, and felt the mood in the room lighten a bit. She was glad to have helped him, even if only a little.

Now was the time for her announcement.

"When the Captain is better, and all is back to normal, I was wondering. . . would you please do something for me?"

"If I'm able."

[[Then,]] February signed, too shy to ask out loud, [[will you bless my marriage to Dabin Reece?]]

[[You're asking me to officiate at your wedding?]]

[[No, I'm asking you to bless the marriage that has already taken place.]]

Jariel's eyes doubled in size, and he blinked in surprise. "Really?"

She smiled brightly, and nodded enthusiastically.

"When? How?" He hugged her, and found himself smiling, too, "You know what? It doesn't matter. You can tell me all about it later. I would be honored to perform a marriage blessing for you and Dabin. This is. . ." he tucked one of those stray, wandering strands of her blonde hair back again behind her ear. "This is the best news I have heard in a very long time. Are you happy, February?"

"More than I've ever been." She hugged back. "You will be too, I promise. You just have to believe, Jariel. Trust that everything is going to be okay."

She released him and moved toward the Captain. She respectfully bowed her head and closed her eyes in a moment of silent reflection.

After the moment had passed, she recited a few lines of a song that came to Grace's mind as the stars sped past; bright streaks of light outside the view port before her. "Paint the sky with stars."

Jariel waited for her to elaborate. She chose words from the memories of the previous Grace host that he himself had embodied during her Zhian'tara.

"Sachal would say that your life is a blank canvas now," she explained. "Don't look back, and don't make it dark, Camen. Not by choice. But if it's dark on its own, paint it with light. Make it what you want it to be."

"Paint the sky with stars." he echoed in understanding.

[[Exactly.]] She signed, and then without another word or sign, she made a hurried exit from the room.


Lt. February Grace
Helm/Flight Controller
USS Alchemy NX-53099