183: If Love Was Enough

by Lt. February Grace
80229.12
A few hours into the journey to Gibraltar Depot
Soundtrack: If Love Was Enough by Graham Colton

-=Sickbay, USS Serendipity=-

Dabin Reece was quieter now than he had been in a long, long time.

Perhaps quieter than he had ever been in his life.

He stood, eyes glazed over with exhaustion and worry, staring blankly at the blipping lights on the monitors displaying his wife's current condition.

He glared at them, unblinking, attempting to somehow change them with the sheer force of his will until his eyes lost the ability to focus. Halos appeared around each blip, as they all began melting together into a rainbow wash of artificially created, neon colored light.

In the past few hours those readings had taken a turn which frightened him.

February's white blood cell count was dangerously elevated. He was becoming concerned that the symbiont, already showing great strides toward recovery itself, might now be the least of their worries.

They were doing all they could to clean and purify her tainted bone marrow. If the treatments were going to be successful, they should see signs of improvement soon.

Otherwise. . .

Dabin refused to even entertain the possibility of 'otherwise'.

He gently took February’s left hand into both of his.

*So soft.*

He tilted it slowly from side to side, watching the diamonds in her new wedding band catch fire in the light. He turned her hand over as he caressed it, and when his fingertips brushed her own, he noted how hers had built up resistance in the skin there, from years of pressing sharp, unforgiving guitar strings against the neck of the instrument to create music.

A fresh wave of despair overtook him, and Dabin closed his eyes.

Who could have imagined the day that he met this woman, this innocent, other-worldly February, and been so angry with her initially for the sins of one of her symbiont's previous hosts, that he would end up standing here? Ready to do anything, give anything, suffer anything to take her place, if he only could.

Anything. Just to see her open her eyes and smile at him.

He'd come too far- they'd been through too much- for everything they had to come to such a devastating end.

He had come so close to losing her before he even realized that he was falling in love with her- he couldn't imagine now that he could face any future except one where she was happy, whole, and at his side.

He bent down, pressed his lips to her ear, and softly sang the words of one of her favorite songs.

As deeply sedated as she was, the sound of his voice somehow resonated in February's mind, and she sighed dreamily, unmoving. The delicate, breathy sound set off a rapid-fire cascade of memories in the mind of the man beside her.

-=Flashback=-

-=Runabout Hiawatha: Summer, 2387=-

"So this is it then? I've waited years for this and you won't even be able to look me in the eye when I tell you what you've done?"

"What Deveral did," February reminded him. *Deveral the rock star.* She thought. * Deveral the genius. Deveral the incorrigible, irredeemable bastard.*

"Yes, what Deveral did. In this case, ruin my life. Or, should I say Tuli's life."

"Tuli?" The attending physician asked softly, thinking she needed a piece of paper and pencil at this point to keep score of who did what to whom.

"Reece's host before Dabin." February whispered. "She and Deveral were. . . acquainted."

"If you call having a torrid affair acquainted!" Dabin snarled, pacing back and forth with his arms folded angrily. "I was young and naive. He used me up and threw me away and then when he was done, nothing. I waited by the view screen for three years for him. But did he once try to contact me? Did he once try to do anything?" Reece moved closer and put his hands on February's shoulders, shaking her gently.

"Step off, Reece," the doctor warned. "She's in no condition for this."

"Well I'm in no condition to let this go." Reece replied. "You said we'd be together forever. Why didn't you call?" He seemed to be speaking as his former host Tuli now, and February responded in kind.

"Well you know, there was that whole tour of the Alpha quad thing going on. . . we went through three drummers that summer. It was a tough gig, sweetheart." She said, suddenly sounding very un-February.

"But you didn't even send me a postcard- or concert tickets! You told your security guards not to let me come backstage anymore!"

February reached out and touched Reece's face with the back of her hand gently. "I'm tellin' you baby, there was nothing I could do about it. But you know our time together was very special to me, there was nobody else like you."

February thought she might gag from the sheer size of the lie that the symbiont was feeding her to say, and her hands shot up to her mouth. "My god. What did I just say?"

"Yeah, well, I'll have you know a little something else, you worm." Dabin continued, poking February in the stomach, in the vicinity of her symbiont.

"Jazen Deveral Reece is an unjoined Trill and he plays guitar in an alternative rock tribute band on Risa! I figure that YOU owe ME about forty-three thousand bars of latinum in unpaid child support!"

February thought she might pass out. She was only grateful that her eyesight had failed her completely by this point and she was not forced to look Reece in the face.

"Jazen... Deveral. . .Reece?" She stammered "My son?"

"Congratulations," Reece growled. "It's a boy!"

After his little outburst, Reece realized he was being unfair to the unsuspecting young stranger whom he had just met- and that he wouldn't want to be called on the behavior of several of his own past hosts, that was certain.

He relented, and felt bad for the way he'd allowed Reece's years of pent-up hostility to get the better of him.

"Sorry about that, Reece just got away from me for a moment there." Dabin confided, "I'm sure you have had moments like that in your time as a host."

"You have no idea." February replied. "It's okay, Dabin, I understand."

She was being so nice about it, that it made him feel even worse. He tried to think of something he could do to redeem himself.

"Well, another of my previous hosts was a doctor. And, it so happens that my significant other is one of the brightest medical minds in Starfleet. She's currently taking up residence on a patch of beach at the Amethyst Ocean Resort and Spa down yonder. I could get her on the horn, we could have a confab." He offered. "Maybe if your doctor show us what she's got in the way of findings so far, we can give her some input."

"You'd do that for me?" February was surprised. Obviously this was, by far, the kindest of all Reece's hosts.

"Yeah. 'Cause that's just the kind of guy I am."

"Thank you." Dr. Trind said with a nod. "I'll take all the input I can get before we get back to the Symbiosis Commission. I'll go gather some data for you, be right back." She moved out of the room, and Reece plunked down onto the bed next to February and patted her on the hand.

"I'm dying, you know." She said matter-of-factly.

"Hey, don't talk like that. It'll be okay, kid." He took a moment to really look at her now, and he couldn't imagine someone as mild as she was getting stuck with the Grace symbiont.

"How old are you, February?"

"Twenty five."

"A baby."

"So I'm told. Reece, I want you to know something."

"What's that?"

"That I'm sorry, for everything." Her chin began quivering. "That not only am I disgusted by the lack of discretion that Deveral showed in his personal life, but so was our last host, Wen. In fact, I believe that was a big part of what happened to her, why she did what she did."

"Why?" he was becoming concerned. "What did she do?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone? 'Cause it's classified."

He was worried by the request, but he knew the answer was important and was ready to promise her anything so she'd tell him. Instead he chose to remain silent, and she took that silence to indicate agreement.

"She killed herself."

"Oh." Reece sighed, thinking that suddenly there was an entirely new dimension added to the problems that this young, inexperienced woman was dealing with. Dabin wanted to be of some comfort to her, but Reece was still screaming at him in his head. "Hey, you're done talking now, it's my turn." Dabin poked himself in the stomach in the vicinity of his own symbiont.

"What?" February asked, confused.

"Nothing, never mind. Listen, kid, you made a very good point before. What previous hosts did is not your fault." He held her hand, still, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know what it's like to inherit a symbiont that can get pretty out of control at times. It's something you just have to learn to reign in, take control of. You've had problems since your joining, because you were sick afterward, right?"

"I almost died."

"Well, it's time to show the slug who's boss." Dabin said, "and if I can help you at all, well, I guess it's the least I can do for a fellow host stuck with a symbiont from hell. And the father of my favorite of all of my children." Dabin blinked a couple times. "Did I just say that out loud?"

February shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe that after our past. . .after everything, you'd do that for me."

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to look in the mirror tomorrow and live with the devastatingly handsome face staring back at me."

-=Hours later- The Symbiont Caves at Mak'ala, Trill=-

After convincing the presiding Trill symbiont Guardian, a twig-like man called Rigin, to see if he could determine why February and Grace were both perilously close to perishing, Rigin had tenderly taken February by the hand and led her away from her two doctors and Reece. The trio had accompanied her down to the caves, and Rigin insisted everyone must go while February was in the pools.

"Someone has to wait for her," Dr. Jaine Hood insisted. From the stories Dabin had told her in the past, she believed that they had no reason at all to trust the Symbiosis Commission, or their appointed Guardians, for that matter.

"I'll wait." Dabin announced. "He likes me a little, but he likes you too much." he nodded to Dr. Trind. "You'll distract him. You two wait outside, just beyond the caves. I'll watch over Grace, and we'll find you as soon as we're done."

A moment later, February reappeared.

Her hair was free of its braid now, wavy and long over her shoulders and down her back. She was dressed in a simple white frock, Her feet, bare.

"OUT!" Rigin demanded again, pointing to the exit. "Get!"

"We're getting, we're getting." Dr. Trind retreated but Hood hesitated, and looked back at Dabin with concern.

"Be careful."

Dabin Reece nodded, and watched as Hood finally disappeared from view.

Then he sat down on a rock, averting his eyes politely from the young, and now surprisingly beautiful blonde girl who was taking her first slow, tentative steps into the milky water of the symbiont pool.

He drew a deep breath. He only hoped that his instincts were somehow off this time and it wasn't the symbiont itself that was responsible for her suffering.

Way the hell off.

-=End Flashback=-

She'd gone through a horrible ordeal on Trill before all was said and done. Reece, Blane, and the rest of the small band of crew mates and friends entrusted with watching over her had been forced to literally kidnap her from the Symbiosis Commission hospital in the end.

"I have so much research to do on our link, still, February. We'll do it together." Dabin whispered now, observing how slight and frail her long fingers seemed- like those of a porcelain doll, as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed each one in turn.

"So I can tell the Commission where to go when all is said and done. So I can tell them what I think of their Reassociation banishment and all the garbage they forced onto us along with it." He pressed the back of her hand to his cheek.

"We will get it back. Somehow. I promise."

Dabin heard the sound of the curtain surrounding her bed rustling, and looked up. He saw an arm poke through, where the two halves of the curtain met, offering a wave.

He knew that arm.

"Entrez Vous." He said lightly, trying to put on a brave face. "Ah look, it is Monsieur Le Vedek. Can I offer you a bowl of soup?" He imitated Fleur's accent, and a startled look crossed Jariel's face for an instant at the sound, but it disappeared once more as quickly as it had appeared.

While Jariel knew Reece far too well to buy into his act, he allowed the man the comfort of believing he had succeeded in the attempt.

He smiled gently and approached. He reached out and patted Bru on the head, and before moving his hand away, he closed his eyes a moment and bowed his head, seemingly in prayer.

Dabin wasn't sure if he was blessing her, or begging any Powers That May Be to look out for her. Either way, seeing Jariel's care and concern brought him a renewed sense of calm, one for which he would be eternally grateful.

The Vedek had been keeping vigil beside Kellyn, but moved out of the way when her fellow engineers Breaux and Dengar had come to visit, to allow them a moment's reflection alone by her bedside. Then Salvek and Arie had appeared, and Camen knew that his presence was not needed there any longer.

He had offered Arie a hug, Salvek a pat on the shoulder, and then come over to see how Bru was faring. [[Any change?]]

[[Symbiont toxicity is improving, but her blood work is cause for concern,]] Reece replied, channeling the removed, stoic bedside manner of previous host Rilan to get through it.

[[Her leukocyte levels must return to normal soon or.]] He stopped and sighed. [[I want to talk to her, so badly, but they had to conk her out pretty good. She was frantic. We didn't want her to hurt herself,]]Dabin signed sadly, the lump in his throat seeming to preclude the possibility of vocal speech. [[Jariel, I hate this.]]

With those last three words, Reece expressed the obvious clearly and with wrenching emotion.

[[You have not rested, Dabin,]] Jariel placed a hand on the Trill's shoulder a moment, supportively. [[You must. If you make yourself sick as well then when,]] Jariel paused, and he placed his hands with the tips of his fingers on his shoulders, brushing them outward gracefully, as though dusting off freshly fallen, powdery snowflakes from the shoulders of his coat.

In doing so he created the sign for the word 'angel' which was his special, personal nickname for February and known only to a few of their closest friends.

[[When the angel wakes up, you won't be in any condition to be there for her. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.]]

[[I know you do,]] Reece conceded, knowing that only weeks ago that Jariel had been in a situation very similar to the one he found himself in. [[You're right. But I can't be away from her. Not now. Not with everything so uncertain.]]

Jariel nodded, raising his hand to show Reece that he didn't need to say anymore. He made a 'just a second' motion with his index finger, and disappeared. A moment later Jariel returned, the LMH at his side.

"I don't see why not, Father." McKay said softly to Jariel as they moved closer to February's biobed. "You want to do it or shall I?"

Knowing that the LMH had a better chance of accomplishing the desired task without disturbing any of the monitoring leads attached to Bru, Jariel made a sweeping motion with his arm. [[Be my guest, Sir.]]

"What's?" Dabin asked, but Jariel's confident nod to him silenced him.

[[When I couldn't sleep anywhere else, I could sleep beside Liis.]] Jariel explained, as the LMH carefully slid his arms beneath Grace and moved her over on the bed, making just enough room for the thin and wiry Reece to slide onto it beside her.

Dabin looked at them hopefully, but was hesitant. "You're sure it's okay?"

"It'll be fine, Reece. And if they need you to go charging back to the bridge like the cavalry, I'll wake ya up. Don't worry."

Jariel vanished again as Dabin wedged himself into position, then reappeared with a second pillow and blanket in hand. He offered them to the Trill, whose eyes conveyed the gratitude that he couldn't properly express in words. Not now.

The two men shared a look born of understanding, one of having walked the same path, as they prayed to reach the same destination.

McKay nodded to the Vedek and Reece then vanished behind the curtain again.

Jariel watched as Reece's eyes slipped closed the moment he settled in, with his head resting not on the small triangular pillow, but against February's soft, inviting shoulder instead.

[[Bless them as they walk this path together, dear Prophets,]] Jariel signed prayerfully. [[They are too much a part of each other, to ever be parted now.]]

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Lt. February Grace
Senior Flight Controller
USS Serendipity NCC-2012