454: Time and Space

by -=/\=- Zanh Liis
80804.14
Following Leap
Soundtrack: Shattered,
by O.A.R.
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-=The Captain's Suite; Inn at Lake Cataria, Betazed=-


Jariel rose, retrieving his shirt from the arm of the chair beside the bed. He put it on, not bothering to button it before stepping into his shoes.

He had a feeling that once the conversation he was about to initiate was over, he would want to leave without having to stop to put them on.

He stood in the arch of the open balcony doors for a long time, watching the sun climb as it finished rising over the breath- taking scenery.

Watching the light wash over the woman who sat so close to him but was, in her mind, light years away.

At last he spoke her name.

She looked up, and it was only then that he realized that she had a solitary line of moisture running down her cheek; the only indication that she had been moved to tears by something.

Knowing her as he did, he believed that something to be more than just the beauty that surrounded her.

"Camen," she began, then she indicated the chair beside her. Instead Jariel moved toward the balcony railing and leaned his back against it, gazing at her as she sat before him.

With the dawning sunlight behind him, he looked purely angelic. Liis was again amazed by the sight and by the man himself. Still she knew that she had to do this, for both of them.

Before she could say anything more, he raised his hands gently to sign the words he could not force past the lump in his throat.

[[I know, Liis. We've both changed.]] His eyes were weary as he continued with a sigh. [[How could we not be changed by all we've seen? By what we know? The only thing that can help us to process it all is time.]]

[[Yes,]] Liis signed back, glad that she did not have to try to find the strength to form the words aloud. [[I don't want us to fall back on what we've always done, and just accept less than the best of each other because we're too afraid of what we may be apart.]]

She realized that they had never been together this long, at any point, in any linear span of time before. If they had been, perhaps coming to a point like this would have happened a lot sooner. [[We have to decide if it's meant to be after we're sure of who we are today. And as much as I want to tell you that I am still who I was before I knew what I know, I just can't, Jariel. I owe you more than to lie to you. Ever.]]

She stood up, and stepped closer to him. [[It scares me to death to think of what we've had changing. But no matter how I try to pretend it hasn't, it...]] She threw her hands open wide helplessly, and he nodded.

[[It already has, Liis. It's out of our hands.]]

She allowed her head to fall forward, into her hands.

"This is all my fault," she said softly, finding it easier to speak now than to look at him to watch him sign.

"People change, Zanh Liis," Jariel whispered, "It's not a matter of fault, it just happens." He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, steadying her as she wavered slightly from side to side. "It just is."

After a long time, she looked up at him and put her hands on both of his shoulders.

"I want you to be happy, Jariel. More than anything else, that is what matters to me. I do not want, or expect you to wait around while I get my head sorted out because I may never succeed in doing it." She gazed at at him with affection and sincerity.

"If the opportunity presents itself to you to find what you need somewhere else, with someone else," she paused, her voice breaking. "I want you to take it. Hold on to it and don't let it go. Promise me you will."

He didn't answer, instead he simply leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead.

He was due back aboard the Alchemy to talk to the new CMO soon, Liis knew. Still, she had to wonder as he cast his eyes toward the door if he would stay aboard the ship for the rest of their time on Betazed, or if he would decide to use up his shore leave elsewhere, after all.

The sound of the door chime rang out, and Liis groaned. Could it possibly be eight o'clock already? She sighed, stood taller and pasted on her best game face.

Jariel hurried to button his shirt as he moved to open the door. As he pushed it back, he revealed a very perky looking pair of females; Lair Kellyn, and her child.

"Good morning, Jariel!" Kellyn grinned broadly. "It's a beautiful...day." Her words slowed to a stop as the look on his face erased her smile, and her eyes questioned him as Arie bolted through the door, seeking Zanh Liis.

"Captain!" Arie squealed excitedly, "I am ready for our day together! Are you?" She saw that Liis was still in her bathrobe and her eyebrow elevated. "Apparently not."

"Coffee, Arie." Liis begged. "I need coffee."

"We ordered you both some breakfast from Room Service, it should be arriving momentarily," Kellyn informed, as Jariel shook his head to her slightly, indicating he couldn't stay to eat it. "Least I could do."

"Thank you." Liis said, moving into the great room of the suite from the bedroom and catching Jariel's eye as he walked through the door. He paused, waiting for her to speak.

"Go carefully, Jariel Camen." She said softly.

Without responding, he was gone.

Liis avoided Kellyn's eyes, grateful a moment later when the Room Service attendant arrived, pushing an elegantly appointed cart.

"I better get going, Arie, give me a hug." Kellyn waved her hands and held open her arms, and the girl did as requested, adding a kiss to her mother's cheek as she said goodbye for now.

"See you tomorrow night, Mother. Happy Anniversary to you and Father."

"Thank you, Arie. Thank you, Zanh Liis. Have fun, and mind what I told you, Lair Arie." Kellyn added.

Arie slowly rolled large brown eyes. "Yes, Mother."

Zanh nodded in reply as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the silver pot before her. "My pleasure." Lair retreated, and as she left Zanh offered her these words of unsolicited advice. "Kellyn, treasure every second."

Lair stopped walking, but did not look back as she listened to Liis' haunting, final admonition.

"This time will never come again."

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-=/\=-Zanh Liis
Commanding Officer
USS Serendipity NCC-2012