80528.22
Following Blank Canvas
"Zanh to Jariel." The Captain had just left sickbay to attend to the Strasa, and realized someone would need to counsel the Counselor.
[^Proceed,^] The computer prompted her over the comm, indicating that the Vedek had received her hail, and was listening.
"Ensign Vol is in a bad way, to put it mildly Camen. He's lost his empathic abilities. McKay can give you all the details but suffice it to say there is an overwhelming sense of loss, and someone needs to look out for him. He's sedated right now but we can't just keep pumping him full of sedatives."
Camen did not have to ask who that someone was. He tapped the terminal next to him, sending a message of acknowledgment to the Captain, and departed for Sickbay. It was a place he had spent far too much time in, watching over those who meant the most to him. He learned to respect the values of many cultures with his injured comrades, and introduce them to some of his own. Most recently he had watched over Lair Kellyn and February Grace, while their spouses dealt with threats to the ship. He juggled his own beliefs and customs with those of the Trill and Vulcans that played such a huge roll in his friends' lives.
Now however, he would deal with a man who was still a relative unknown to him, both as an officer and a Betazoid. He would have to deal with Vol in a manner that Dabin Reece would refer to as "The seat of his pants."
The doors to Sickbay opened, and Camen silently glided into the room. Vol lay on the bed in the center, and McKay was working feverishly in his office on a solution to the "bug" the Strasa had implanted in Vol's brain. McKay did not see Camen enter, but the internal sensors alerted him that someone entered the bay. The Doctor left his station and proceeded to greet the Vedek.
"Evening, Father, let me guess the Captain sent you?"
[[What is the diagnosis Doctor?]]
"Our Strasa friends have proven that no good deed goes unpunished. Let me show you."
McKay brought up the scans of Vol's brain, and explained exactly what had been done to him. The device was sinister to put it mildly. There were rumors of the Cardassians testing similar technology on prisoners during the occupation, but they supposedly never got the devices to work. Camen had never actually met anyone who had been experimented on, so he wasn't sure if the rumors were true or not.
"I gave him a mild sedative, he'll be awake again in a few. I can---"
Both men simultaneously noted the noises of a groaning man, and they both silently raised their gaze to see Vol lazily raising a knee, and letting his head fall to one side. The sedative was wearing off.
"Scratch that 'few' and make it a 'now.'" whispered the LMH. The Vedek looked up at the hologram, urging him to finish his sentence.
"Be careful... he took quite a snap at the Captain. I'm not sure how he's going to react to any more visitors." McKay loaded a hypo with sedative and handed it to the Vedek. "Just in case. I'll be working on removing this thing in my office if you need me."
[[I understand, I will do my best to help.]]
Camen slid the hypo into a pocket on the inside of his shirt so Vol could not see it. He stepped to the Ensign's side and regarded him for a moment. Vol appeared perfectly serene in his state of only mild consciousness, but that could all change when he peeled away the clouds and fog of drugged sleep.
Vol eyes were difficult to keep open. His joints felt sluggish, and his body felt heavier than normal, Vol recognized the symptoms immediately. He slowly moved his gaze up to the Vedek who was looking down at him... another blank canvas.
"I... I was drugged?" Asked Vol.
[[Yes, it was necessary.]] signed the Vedek.
*I imagine it was.* thought Vol to himself, though he did not chuckle at his own self-directed joke. In fact, nothing about the Counselor was cheery at the moment. His eyelids felt lighter with every passing second, and he was able to blink and look at the ceiling. His hands instinctively moved up his abdomen and rested on at the center of his chest. A long sigh escaped his body, the smallest of tears already forming in the corner of his left eye.
[[The Doctor is doing everything he can to research your condition.]]
Camen knew a statement like that was usually completely unhelpful, but it did assist in starting a dialogue.
A small chuckled escaped Vol along with tear from his eye. "The Captain sent you, didn't she?"
[[We both feel it is important for you to confront this right away, before you begin to...]]
"Retract into self pity." Vol finished his thought.
Camen pulled up a chair and sat so he could sign at eye level with Vol.
[[Is there anything I can get for you?]]
Vol thought of what he really wanted, which was to not feel like the entire universe was suddenly on the other side of a very deep chasm. He wanted the paranoia to subside, he hated feeling restricted like this, because of some horribly designed piece of technology. He felt he had lost control ever since he'd lost his empathic abilities, he felt alone. He'd already thought of a way to alleviate that sense of loneliness, but the Vedek was not the one to be asking.
"No." He said finally.
The tone of his voice was particularly crushing to Camen. Vol sounded like a man who was simply devastated, and Camen felt for him sincerely. The Vedek was determined to keep Vol talking however, and if that meant making him angry or melancholy, then so be it. If there was no cure for what afflicted Vol, these next few hours would be critical to his future well being. Vol would of course be just as aware of this fact as Camen was, and whether or not that would make him more or less receptive to what the Vedek had to say, Camen simply didn't know.
[[I know what it's like to lose an ability. I can relate. That's part of why the Captain wanted me to come here to speak with you.]]
Vol's eyes flared for just a nanosecond, as he felt almost physically assaulted. His fists tightened as the Counselor restrained himself from internalizing the remark, it was not meant to be offending.
The Betazoid sat up, neck and back muscles tensed, and he swung his legs over the side of the med bed. He hopped off onto the side that Jariel was sitting on, Vol looked down at the Vedek, with a gaze that could penetrate needles into steel if it were possible.
"Sufficed to say, I acknowledge the fact that you mean well Vedek. However, I'd advise you not to speak of things you clearly know nothing about."
With that Vol made his way to the door, a matter that the Doctor was not keen on letting happen. Jariel too, was up on his feet.
"Counselor, I ask that you---"
"No!" Vol's arm and index finger had whiplashed in the hologram's direction, who had now frozen stiff a few feet away from him. Vol was clearly seeing red, and Jariel was thankful that looks could not eradicate holograms.
Vol moved again towards the door, and Jariel moved forward as he caught McKay's gaze. He was clearly communicating that Vol could not leave Sickbay at this moment.
The doors opened, and Vol stood an inch from the threshold. Crewmembers passed in front of him, one female, two males conversing. After a few moment, a father was giddy as he carried a child on his shoulders. The child laughed audibly as they passed by, and were quickly gone.
The laugh echoed in Vol's ears, and a silent tear fell once more from his eyes. Voices without intention, faces without emotion, stories without feeling, laughter without joy.
Vol took a step back, the doors closing. His hand was over his mouth as his face was now completely flushed and noticeably red against his pale skin, the tears flowed freely now, still silently. His other arm was wrapped tightly against his own waist.
It was so quiet.
Camen laid his hand on the man's shoulder and steered him back towards the bed in sickbay. Vol slid his hand from his mouth up to his eyes in an attempt to conceal his tears. Jariel nodded to McKay that he had things under control, and the Doctor took his leave.
Tryst sat back down on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. Camen wanted to offer words of comfort, but until Tryst looked up to see him sign, he could do little but pat the man's shoulder so Vol knew he was there.
"You lost your voice, but you can still speak. you can't understand what this is like." Vol said at last. "You love Zanh Liis. What if all of a sudden she just appeared to you as a ghost? You couldn't feel her, hear her, smell her. You can see her right there in front of you but she is just a transparent shell of the person you love. Now imagine that happens to everyone in your life in an instant."
Vol rubbed his eyes as he spoke, never looking up to see if the Vedek responded. Camen knew he didn't have to. The best thing he could do right now was to stand by and take a talking to if that was the only thing that could make Vol feel even remotely better.
Vol finally looked up at the Vedek. "I'd like to be alone now."
[[I will be back in half an hour.]] Vol nodded silently, understanding that the Vedek appreciate his request for privacy, but knew leaving Vol alone for any extended period of time was the wrong thing to do. Camen left sickbay and as he wandered the corridors to find Zanh Liis, tried honestly to put himself in Vol's shoes. No matter how hard he tried to imagine it, he knew deep inside that when he arrived on the bridge, Zanh Liis would be there. She may not be happy, or able to speak with him immediately, but she would be there. From Vol's point of view, Zanh Liis and everyone else on the ship were already gone.
The doors to the bridge opened, right in the middle of a heated debate between Liis, TC and a Strasa man on the viewscreen. Camen could tell this was perhaps not the best time, and quiet as a door mouse slipped back into the lift without anyone know he had been there. He took the lift back down to deck two to the nearest terminal, and began to type a message for delivery to the Captain's ready room.
[I spoke with Vol. Certainly with professional counseling and therapy, he will grow beyond this loss, but not without months and perhaps even years under a doctor's care. His sense of loss and fear is all he has right now, and I believe that without immediate help in the form of a trained Starfleet Councilor or removal of the device, the Vol that we know may be lost to us. My advice to you, Liis, and the medical staff, is to work quickly. Time is a luxury we do not have.]
Ship's Counselor
USS Serendipity NCC-2012
and
Jariel Camen
Ship's Chaplain
USS Serendipity NCC-2012