by Zanh Liis
80104.0
Following The Man Behind the Curtain
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80104.0
Following The Man Behind the Curtain
-----------------------
[[Timal is asking to speak with you.]] Jariel signed, as soon as he was close enough that Liis could make out his words. [[He's waiting, and we really have to get going soon if we're going to meet up with the Atlas on time.]]
Liis dropped the snowball, making a dent in the drift at her feet She dusted her gloves together to clear away its remnants.
"Well, since we're short on time, I'd better tell him that I'd love to talk, but we have to go."
Jariel tilted his head and looked at her in the way that only he could. [[Liis,]]
She sighed and crossed her arms.
He removed his gloves and touched her face. Her nose and cheeks were red and cold to the touch, and he was concerned she was going to make herself sick if she stayed outside for very much longer.
[[Come with me. We can do this together.]]
"What could he possibly have to say to me that's going to be a good thing? Has he ever done anything but criticize me?"
[[I think you misunderstand him,]]
Liis laughed incredulously. "He favored you, Jariel, it's easy for you to say that."
[[What?]] Jariel's expression reflected that he was truly shocked by her words. This was certainly news to him.
"Timal favored you over all the other children. Because you were his prized apprentice. Even among the novices, he favored you. You were the closest thing he ever had to a son of his own. " Liis nodded, to drive home the point because she could tell he didn't believe her.
"Yes. He molded you, from the time you were barely old enough to pronounce half the words in the sacred texts." She shook her head. "The rest of us did not benefit from the. . . softer side of his personality."
[[Maybe that's because he gave you what you needed, instead of what you wanted.]]
"What?" She balled her hands into defensive fists. It was her turn to be surprised.
[[You wanted Timal to go easy on you, but he never did. Instead, he pushed you. As far as he could. And the harder you pushed back, the harder he pressed forward.]]
"But why? I wasn't a bad kid. I didn't get into trouble on purpose."
[[I think,]] Jariel began slowly, choosing his words carefully. [[He saw qualities in you that he wanted to harness. But you were wild, Liis. You were the horse that refused to break. The more you resisted, the more of a challenge you became to Timal. He wasn't going to give up on you.]]
"He never had faith in me to begin with, how could he give up on me?"
[[What's more,]] Jariel concluded, leaving her question unanswered, [[He wasn't going to let you give up on yourself, either.]]
Liis peered in through the window at the empty dormitory.
"I was so little. Defenseless," Her chest began to rise and fall rapidly; she seemed to be trying with all her might not to cry.
He shook his head. [[You may have been little, but you were never defenseless.]]
She moved over to the porch again, kicked the snow from the top step and sank down onto it, holding her head in her hands.
"This place, it does something to me." Though her face was hidden, her voice betrayed her tears. "I thought if I came back here I might feel some sense of peace, at last. But I just feel worse,"
Jariel sat beside her and put his hand on her head, moving it over to rest against his shoulder.
"I couldn't remember anything about my life before I came here. Even when Sacul tried to help me uncover it in the one mind-meld I've had in my life, I couldn't find her. He couldn't find her."
[[Her?]]
"That three year old. The one I turn into every time I set foot on this planet." Liis pulled off a glove and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Then I saw her, Jariel. When I was almost dead, and laying there on that operating table on the Ferengi ship, she came to me. She spoke to me."
[[Your younger self?]]
"No, no," Liis was so distraught that she was not articulating clearly. "My Grandmother."
Now, Jariel was beginning to understand.
Her current emotional state, a stronger reaction than he'd ever seen her have when it came to this place or their childhood, wasn't really about the orphanage, or Timal. Not really.
It was about her Grandmother, and the life she'd lived before she ever arrived.
[[She loved you, Liis. That much I do know. She did everything she could to keep you safe, and keep you out of a place like this.]] He sighed, [[The one thing she couldn't do was prevent herself from dying.]]
"I loved her so much." Liis looked off into the distance as she spoke. "So much that after she died, I blocked her out completely, because if I thought about how much I missed her, I couldn't bear it. Forgetting was the only way to survive."
She glanced up at the sky. The sun had set, and the night was bitterly cold, and clear.
The last of the snow clouds had blown away, leaving the heavens a stretch of endless velvet black. It shined with stars as Bajor's two visible moons began to ascend in the distance.
[[You were a child, Liis. A baby, really. Your mind did what it had to do to protect you, but then when you were kidnapped, and injured,]] He stopped and closed his eyes as the image of her lying in that stasis tube, so near death, flashed before them.
It took a moment before he could free himself of the nightmare to look at her again.
[[You were so fragile. Your mind couldn't protect you anymore. Now you do remember, and you understand what you lost all those years ago. You're going to finally have to mourn her, Liis. There is no way around it.]]
She knew that he was speaking with the authority of one trained to give counsel on matters like this, and that he was right.
"I don't know how."
[[However you have to do it,]] Jariel paused, tenderly taking the glove that sat on her knee and drawing it slowly back over her exposed hand before continuing. [[You won't be alone. I promise you.]]
He stood, pulling her up from the step by both hands.
[[Timal will wonder where we've gone.]]
"Just one second more, okay? I'm right behind you."
He shook his head. He wouldn't go back inside unless she came, too.
[[No. When we leave this place, we leave together. As we should have done twenty years ago.]]
She stared at the dormitory one last, long time. Then she closed her eyes.
Jariel knew her well enough to know that she wasn't praying, but he also knew that she was not so completely jaded that she was beyond wishing upon stars, every once in a very great while. Especially if she thought no one was watching.
[[Wherever we go now, we go together, or not at all.]]
Liis held out her hand, grasping his, prepared to finish the very last of her unfinished business at Altaan.
Liis dropped the snowball, making a dent in the drift at her feet She dusted her gloves together to clear away its remnants.
"Well, since we're short on time, I'd better tell him that I'd love to talk, but we have to go."
Jariel tilted his head and looked at her in the way that only he could. [[Liis,]]
She sighed and crossed her arms.
He removed his gloves and touched her face. Her nose and cheeks were red and cold to the touch, and he was concerned she was going to make herself sick if she stayed outside for very much longer.
[[Come with me. We can do this together.]]
"What could he possibly have to say to me that's going to be a good thing? Has he ever done anything but criticize me?"
[[I think you misunderstand him,]]
Liis laughed incredulously. "He favored you, Jariel, it's easy for you to say that."
[[What?]] Jariel's expression reflected that he was truly shocked by her words. This was certainly news to him.
"Timal favored you over all the other children. Because you were his prized apprentice. Even among the novices, he favored you. You were the closest thing he ever had to a son of his own. " Liis nodded, to drive home the point because she could tell he didn't believe her.
"Yes. He molded you, from the time you were barely old enough to pronounce half the words in the sacred texts." She shook her head. "The rest of us did not benefit from the. . . softer side of his personality."
[[Maybe that's because he gave you what you needed, instead of what you wanted.]]
"What?" She balled her hands into defensive fists. It was her turn to be surprised.
[[You wanted Timal to go easy on you, but he never did. Instead, he pushed you. As far as he could. And the harder you pushed back, the harder he pressed forward.]]
"But why? I wasn't a bad kid. I didn't get into trouble on purpose."
[[I think,]] Jariel began slowly, choosing his words carefully. [[He saw qualities in you that he wanted to harness. But you were wild, Liis. You were the horse that refused to break. The more you resisted, the more of a challenge you became to Timal. He wasn't going to give up on you.]]
"He never had faith in me to begin with, how could he give up on me?"
[[What's more,]] Jariel concluded, leaving her question unanswered, [[He wasn't going to let you give up on yourself, either.]]
Liis peered in through the window at the empty dormitory.
"I was so little. Defenseless," Her chest began to rise and fall rapidly; she seemed to be trying with all her might not to cry.
He shook his head. [[You may have been little, but you were never defenseless.]]
She moved over to the porch again, kicked the snow from the top step and sank down onto it, holding her head in her hands.
"This place, it does something to me." Though her face was hidden, her voice betrayed her tears. "I thought if I came back here I might feel some sense of peace, at last. But I just feel worse,"
Jariel sat beside her and put his hand on her head, moving it over to rest against his shoulder.
"I couldn't remember anything about my life before I came here. Even when Sacul tried to help me uncover it in the one mind-meld I've had in my life, I couldn't find her. He couldn't find her."
[[Her?]]
"That three year old. The one I turn into every time I set foot on this planet." Liis pulled off a glove and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Then I saw her, Jariel. When I was almost dead, and laying there on that operating table on the Ferengi ship, she came to me. She spoke to me."
[[Your younger self?]]
"No, no," Liis was so distraught that she was not articulating clearly. "My Grandmother."
Now, Jariel was beginning to understand.
Her current emotional state, a stronger reaction than he'd ever seen her have when it came to this place or their childhood, wasn't really about the orphanage, or Timal. Not really.
It was about her Grandmother, and the life she'd lived before she ever arrived.
[[She loved you, Liis. That much I do know. She did everything she could to keep you safe, and keep you out of a place like this.]] He sighed, [[The one thing she couldn't do was prevent herself from dying.]]
"I loved her so much." Liis looked off into the distance as she spoke. "So much that after she died, I blocked her out completely, because if I thought about how much I missed her, I couldn't bear it. Forgetting was the only way to survive."
She glanced up at the sky. The sun had set, and the night was bitterly cold, and clear.
The last of the snow clouds had blown away, leaving the heavens a stretch of endless velvet black. It shined with stars as Bajor's two visible moons began to ascend in the distance.
[[You were a child, Liis. A baby, really. Your mind did what it had to do to protect you, but then when you were kidnapped, and injured,]] He stopped and closed his eyes as the image of her lying in that stasis tube, so near death, flashed before them.
It took a moment before he could free himself of the nightmare to look at her again.
[[You were so fragile. Your mind couldn't protect you anymore. Now you do remember, and you understand what you lost all those years ago. You're going to finally have to mourn her, Liis. There is no way around it.]]
She knew that he was speaking with the authority of one trained to give counsel on matters like this, and that he was right.
"I don't know how."
[[However you have to do it,]] Jariel paused, tenderly taking the glove that sat on her knee and drawing it slowly back over her exposed hand before continuing. [[You won't be alone. I promise you.]]
He stood, pulling her up from the step by both hands.
[[Timal will wonder where we've gone.]]
"Just one second more, okay? I'm right behind you."
He shook his head. He wouldn't go back inside unless she came, too.
[[No. When we leave this place, we leave together. As we should have done twenty years ago.]]
She stared at the dormitory one last, long time. Then she closed her eyes.
Jariel knew her well enough to know that she wasn't praying, but he also knew that she was not so completely jaded that she was beyond wishing upon stars, every once in a very great while. Especially if she thought no one was watching.
[[Wherever we go now, we go together, or not at all.]]
Liis held out her hand, grasping his, prepared to finish the very last of her unfinished business at Altaan.
--=/\=--
"By the Prophets, I thought the two of you were never coming back." Timal barked, as he saw Liis and Jariel appear again in the doorway at last.
TC Blane sat on a chair next to the fireplace in the dining room, surrounded by a crowd of smiling children.
Each held a new, prized toy. For most, it was the first thing they'd had to truly call their own since the storms had leveled the Takesian Plains villages and their entire lives changed, in that instant.
TC was chuckling, seemingly unfazed by the barrage of questions that the youngsters were assailing him with.
"Do you like animals?" A small girl with long blonde braids asked.
"Affirmative."
"Any kind in particular?" A boy with striking blue eyes chimed in.
"Dogs."
"Do you have a family, Commander Blane? Children?" An older boy of about ten inquired softly, seriously wondering about his chances at being adopted by the brave, kind Starfleet Officer if he asked to be.
"Negative, young man. My service to Starfleet is my life." TC replied quickly. He noticed the boy's look of disappointment, and found himself adding a sentence that surprised even him.
"Perhaps, one day-" he stopped, extending a hand toward the boy and teaching him to shake. "I'm sure you'll be part of a new family soon, son, just as soon as they can match you up with just the right one. Keep the faith."
The boy shuffled his feet sadly, hating to see TC go. "Thank you, Sir."
"Anybody else have anything they wanted to ask before I go?"
"Do you have a girlfriend?" A raven-haired girl of about twelve at the back of the room spoke up suddenly. All eyes turned toward her, and she seemed to shrink in size, wishing she could disappear.
Just the slightest hint of red appeared on Blane's face. "Negative."
TC looked up and noticed Zanh, who was still standing in the doorway. She had raised her hand to her mouth, trying to conceal her amused smile. She winked at him, emphasizing her delight that the girl had taken a shine to him. TC cleared his throat.
"Well, would you look at the time!" He checked his watch and rose from his seat. "I'm afraid that I have to prepare the ship for departure now," To a loud chorus of protestation, he waded his way through the crowd.
"Will you come and see us again, Commander Blane? Please?" Several children begged in unison.
"I don't know when I'll get back this way," TC said, not wanting to make a promise he'd have to break later. "But I'll try to send you something, now and then. I really hope that by this time next year, you'll all be celebrating the Gratitude Festival with your new families." His wish was sincere, and Timal pressed his hands together and nodded.
"May the Prophets hear your plea, Commander Blane. It is ours, as well."
TC moved to Zanh and Jariel. "I'll warm the runabout up. You about ready to go?"
"Almost." Zanh promised. "We'll be right behind you." As he turned to leave, she snagged him by the sleeve and turned him back toward her.
"Thomas,"
He waited for her to continue without a word.
"Thank you."
Knowing she was about to go off and face Timal, he offered one last piece of advice on his way out. He leaned closer and lowered his voice.
"Remember, Zanh Liis. Behind the curtain, even the Great and Powerful Oz was only a man."
TC Blane sat on a chair next to the fireplace in the dining room, surrounded by a crowd of smiling children.
Each held a new, prized toy. For most, it was the first thing they'd had to truly call their own since the storms had leveled the Takesian Plains villages and their entire lives changed, in that instant.
TC was chuckling, seemingly unfazed by the barrage of questions that the youngsters were assailing him with.
"Do you like animals?" A small girl with long blonde braids asked.
"Affirmative."
"Any kind in particular?" A boy with striking blue eyes chimed in.
"Dogs."
"Do you have a family, Commander Blane? Children?" An older boy of about ten inquired softly, seriously wondering about his chances at being adopted by the brave, kind Starfleet Officer if he asked to be.
"Negative, young man. My service to Starfleet is my life." TC replied quickly. He noticed the boy's look of disappointment, and found himself adding a sentence that surprised even him.
"Perhaps, one day-" he stopped, extending a hand toward the boy and teaching him to shake. "I'm sure you'll be part of a new family soon, son, just as soon as they can match you up with just the right one. Keep the faith."
The boy shuffled his feet sadly, hating to see TC go. "Thank you, Sir."
"Anybody else have anything they wanted to ask before I go?"
"Do you have a girlfriend?" A raven-haired girl of about twelve at the back of the room spoke up suddenly. All eyes turned toward her, and she seemed to shrink in size, wishing she could disappear.
Just the slightest hint of red appeared on Blane's face. "Negative."
TC looked up and noticed Zanh, who was still standing in the doorway. She had raised her hand to her mouth, trying to conceal her amused smile. She winked at him, emphasizing her delight that the girl had taken a shine to him. TC cleared his throat.
"Well, would you look at the time!" He checked his watch and rose from his seat. "I'm afraid that I have to prepare the ship for departure now," To a loud chorus of protestation, he waded his way through the crowd.
"Will you come and see us again, Commander Blane? Please?" Several children begged in unison.
"I don't know when I'll get back this way," TC said, not wanting to make a promise he'd have to break later. "But I'll try to send you something, now and then. I really hope that by this time next year, you'll all be celebrating the Gratitude Festival with your new families." His wish was sincere, and Timal pressed his hands together and nodded.
"May the Prophets hear your plea, Commander Blane. It is ours, as well."
TC moved to Zanh and Jariel. "I'll warm the runabout up. You about ready to go?"
"Almost." Zanh promised. "We'll be right behind you." As he turned to leave, she snagged him by the sleeve and turned him back toward her.
"Thomas,"
He waited for her to continue without a word.
"Thank you."
Knowing she was about to go off and face Timal, he offered one last piece of advice on his way out. He leaned closer and lowered his voice.
"Remember, Zanh Liis. Behind the curtain, even the Great and Powerful Oz was only a man."
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--=/\=-- Captain Zanh Liis
--=/\=-- Captain Zanh Liis